Although it may sound strange, I did, in fact, grow up with 5 dads. My father is the drummer in a band, a local, basement-born ensemble of talent, including a guitarist, a bass player, a singer, and a keyboard player, which altogether with my dad comes to 5. And, for as long as I can remember, these are the men that have taken over my basement every other Thursday since I could walk.
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1. “Organized chaos” is a given
Not only is that the name of the band, but it's also the name of the game. Chaos has never been so contained in one room before.
2. Taunting and teasing is no big deal and should not always be taken seriously
There will be a comment made on everything; you might as well just take it and brush it off
3. It’s okay when swearing is used in normal conversation
Stranger: *cusses* "Oh I'm so sorry, excuse my language."
Mom: "No it's ok, she's heard it all before."
4. Grown men are, and always will be, children at heart
Whether they be sober or drunk... need I say more?
5. If a room smells of a lit match, don’t ask questions
95% of the time, this smell is made to mask another smell... so you might as well find a different room with cleaner air.
6. When the floor shakes from the noise, don’t be worried
Whether it be from the yelling, stomping, fooling around, or the bass line from a song, the band never has a silent interaction. If the floor continues to shake, yet they are being close to silent, then you may want to worry.
7. Drinking tricks and games
How to flip and catch coasters, what a "shot ski" is, and "how to make beer disappear."
8. If you are bringing a boy home, be prepared
Because when their little girl brings home a boy, you might as well be expecting an interrogation room with the lights down and a single light in the corner.
9. Breaking out into heavy metal song is not a bizarre thing
Since I would assume it normally is fairly bizarre.
10. How to complete, and even win, burping competitions
Combining beer drinkers and immature men calls for quite the contest, so you better learn how to stand your place.
11. Loud is the only volume at which music is played
Or else how would you be able to hear it?
12. How to have a good time
I guess if there isn't a stench of sweat and beer, then the night was a bust.
13. You will always be asked to remind onlookers which one is your ACTUAL father
"My dad is the drummer, the rest are just... close family friends."
14. There is never a lack of support
From tearing your ACL to doing well on an exam, a high-five is just a hand-raise away.
15. If you ever get your heart broken, you know you always have 5 strong men to back you up
Who else is gonna talk some sense into that mean friend or "bad-news" ex-boyfriend?
