In a country where nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce, it's not uncommon to find friends who rotate homes every couple of days. My parents divorced when I was 15, and it's definitely been a bumpy road. Even after three years, it still takes some getting used to. My siblings and I have endured every number on this list, as I'm sure thousands of other kids have too. And if you haven't, well, here's a glimpse into the life.
So here it goes. Let's talk about the D word.
1. Packing every weekend to switch houses -- which is a pain in the a**.
2. Knowing the sadness of only being able to be with one parent on holidays.
Serving as the communicator between your mom and dad is exhausting, especially if they passive aggressively try to make you pick sides! You love them equally! Why can't they talk it out themselves instead of relaying messages through you?
3. When your parent brings home their first boyfriend/girlfriend... and witnessing their PDA.
It's not the fact that it isn't your dad with your mom or because you don't want them to be happy - it's the fact that you just don't want to see this. You don't want to even think about your parents' sex lives.
4. Milestone events are just bound to be awkward.
Graduations, first communions, award ceremonies...basically any event where both parents and their extended families are present in the same building at the same time. You can literally feel the uncomfortableness as the two groups either a) desperately avoid each other or b) force themselves to make small talk about the weather.
5. Letting your mom and dad pamper the sh** out of you in an attempt to be the "cool, favorite parent".
You probably experience this right off the bat when the divorce is fresh since they're feeling guilty. It's a high stakes battle to decide who's getting taken care of when they get older.
6. Becoming closer with your siblings.
Honestly, divorce brought me and my siblings together more than anything else. You support each other in the wake of everything and you constantly have someone to talk to who is in the exact same situation. (Oh, but don't forget, they're still annoying)
7. Weddings.
Are you supposed to call your mom's new husband your stepdad? Is that weird? Is your dad going to be jealous? How are you supposed to remember all of the new extended family's names? Should you be happy or sad? Why isn't there a rule book for this!
8. Going to one parent and asking for money, and then going to the other and asking for more.
Hey, you gotta work the system when you can! No shame. Honestly, how would they ever find out? (for my mom and dad who are reading this article, of course I never do this.......)
9. Having two of everything -- and having to keep track of both...
One year, I got two fit bits for Christmas (one from my mom, one from my dad) and just didn't tell the other parent. It's happened on birthdays more times than I can count, but hey, on the bright side you've got a backup if you're prone to losing things.
10. Being forced to go to the "divorced kids" club in elementary school even though you really don't want to.
Talking about feelings with your guidance counselor in front of your other classmates doesn't exactly sound appealing to a fourth grader...no thank you.
11. Breaking news to your family is always a struggle -- because who do you tell first?
Whichever parent you tell second is naturally going to feel slighted. You can't win in this situation! It's times like these where I go back and forth so much that I just decide not to tell anyone and let them find out on their own.
12. Feeling jealous about families with lit group chats.
All we have is a sad, indirect email chain that only gets used to plan kid handoffs.
13. Having to explain to your younger siblings that Mom and Dad aren't getting back together.
This is probably one of the more heartbreaking moments in your relationship with your seven-year-old sister who just doesn't quite understand everything yet. Because how do you tell a first grader that Mom and Dad still love you, but not each other?
14. And in the end, realizing that even though it sucks, you're still a family and everything's going to be just fine.
Cliché, I know, but it really is true (most of the time).
