Dear Sam,
I think a lot about the world that we are living in today. How things are, the terrible stuff that happens and wondering what it all means and scared, honestly that you are growing up in such a hateful world. The thought of such an ugly world scares me. Not so much for myself, but for you, my child that I am raising in it. The world will always be a harsh place, but I hope that while you are out there living in it, you’ll remember the following things.
1. Don’t Start A Fight, But Don’t Back Down.
There is no way to avoid a fight/argument sometimes. Don’t ever be the one that starts a physical altercation, but if someone comes at you, you better defend yourself.
2. “Please And Thank You” Go A Long Way.
This is so important. Always say please. Always. And be grateful for things that people do for you, and even don’t do for you. Use your manners every chance you get.
3. Choose Your Hair Style Wisely.
I say this because there is going to come a day when you are showing old photos to new friends, your children or even someone you’re dating and you don’t not want to be on the receiving end of never ending puns and jokes about the terrible hairstyle you wore back then. Trust me.
4. Always Hold The Door For People.
Women, children, elderly people, and even other dudes you see coming. Hold the door for them all. There will be people taking advantage of your kind gesture and that’s okay. Hold the door always.
5. Talking To Older Adults Isn’t “Uncool.”
Older adults usually have the best stories and make for the most interesting conversations. Talk to them. Get to know them. And always look them in the eyes when you speak.
6. Be Careful With Your Words.
Be careful what you say to people. Whether it is me, your dad, grandmothers, brother, step-mother and so on, chose your words wisely. Once something is said, it’s out there, and you can never take it back.
7. Know The Difference Between Loving Someone Being In Love With Them.
You can “love” as many people as you want, but know the difference between loving someone because you care about them, because you see them as a friend or even a partner and being in love with someone. The one who compliments your soul. The two could not be more different. And I hope you will know the difference. Being in love with someone is like being found, when you didn’t even know you were lost. Wait for that person to find you.
8. Choose Your Friends Wisely.
My mother, your Nanny, used to tell me all the time “You are who your friends are.” I always thought she was crazy until one day, I finally understood what she meant. When picking friends to spend your time with, make sure you are picking good ones. People who understand who and how you are and love you no matter what. Friends wouldn’t try to put you in a bad position or situation. Choose friends that make you a better person.
9. If You Wouldn’t Marry Her, Then Don’t Date Her.
Same thing for your girlfriend(s). If she’s not someone that you could see yourself settling down with, move on. I know this will seem confusing, but follow me on this. I want you to have experience life, but I don’t want you wasting it. If you have just one girlfriend and that’s who you end up marrying then great! But if that isn’t how it goes for you then know this: the more time you spend with someone who isn’t right, is a waste of your precious time. Don’t be with someone just because it’s convenient or easy, or for any other reason. And don’t bring every one of them to meet me. When it comes to you, I won’t be a nice person to someone that hurts you.
10. Don’t Be A Quitter.
Right now, at age five, you’re going back and forth on whether or not you want to really play baseball. If you don’t, that’s cool. And if you do, that’s cool too. BUT if I sign you up for a season of baseball, football or anything else you WILL see it through to the end. You will NOT get to quit mid-season, mid-game, mid-practice. You made a commitment to your team and your coach for that season and you will finish. Quitters don’t get far in this life.
11. Work.
Expect me to MAKE you get a job when you turn sixteen. I got my first job the summer I turned sixteen, carrying bales of hay up a hill and spreading it out to cover grass seed. Worse. Summer. Ever. Or so I thought. I saved up enough and bought a car. Then, got another job I could actually drive myself to, and the rest is history. What I’m saying to you son, is this; you’ll appreciate things much more if you earn them yourself. Yes, working sucks and no, it never ends. It’s a cycle. But at the end of the day your head hits the pillow and you know that you’ve put in yet another hard earned day, and wake up and do it all over again. It’s the real world kid, get ready!
12. Treat Every Girl/Woman With Respect.
This one shouldn’t need explaining. Or maybe it does a little, but I can’t really see myself having the “talk” with you just yet. Oh, you don’t know what the “talk” is?! Uhhh…. Go ask your dad. He’s dying to tell you about it!!! LOL!!
13. Spend Time With Your Daddy.
Your dad loves you more than I could ever even begin to explain to you. Right now you think that he is the greatest dude there ever was. And he thinks the same about you. You are the kid that made him “daddy.” There will come a day when you leave and start a life on your own, but don’t forget about him. Spend time with him every chance that you possible can. Where there isn’t time, make time. One day, you’ll want more than anything to see him, and call him and he won’t be there. Take every minute you can.
14. Go Fishing, Every Chance That You Get.
Fishing is good for the soul. Everything is right when you are sitting on a river bank waiting for a bite. There you can talk to God, sort things out that have been bothering you, and just find over all peace.
15. Come See Your Mama.
Right now I know that you see yourself as my little boy. I know you’re a big boy, but you’ll always be my baby. Time has gone by so fast since you’ve come into my life. Today you’re five;tomorrow you’ll be sixteen, then thirty and so on. Like I told you to always make sure you spend time with your daddy, don’t forget about your mama either. Chances are I’ll be missing you. You are my life. I want you to remember that. And when the world keeps weighing you down, mama will always be there for you.
Sam, the world we are living in just keeps getting worse and worse. I hope that you will remember these few things that I have said, because I had to learn them myself. I want you to have the best life possible. I know that you are going to have rough times and I hope some of these things will help you get through it. Be yourself, dude. You’re awesome! Be silly and laugh. Show class and respect. Don’t let this world bring your spirit down. I know that you are meant for great things and you’re going to prove me, right. I’ll love you forever, kid.
Love, Mom.
