I've been knitting for about eight years, and there is a very consistent pattern when it comes to starting a new project. It's a very meticulous process, but if you study it closely, it's fairly easy to replicate on your own with just a little bit of practice.

1. Be struck with the desire to create something marvelous.

2. Immediately realize that you have no original ideas.

3. Search the internet for possible patterns.

4. Remain on the internet for an obscene amount of time.

5. Remember that you do have other responsibilities, and panic for a while because of all the time you just wasted.

6. Remind yourself that knitting is calming, and return to finding a pattern you like.

7. Decide on a pattern based on aesthetics and with no regard to your knitting abilities.

8. Completely ignore the gauge.

9. Use entirely different materials than what it calls for, because you don't have exactly what it calls for.

10. Successfully knit at least four rows of the pattern.

11. Step back and admire your work. Reward yourself with a snack.

12. Lose all motivation to continue working on your project.

13. Stare intently at your knitting in an attempt to finish it with your mind alone.

14. Take a moment to mourn your lack of telekinesis.

15. Stuff the project into that one box of unfinished projects you have and forget about it entirely.

And voila! You've started a knitting project. Don't worry, as long as you check back in every few months or so, you'll probably maybe eventually finish it. Maybe.