Irish Americans are a dime a dozen nowadays. According the U.S. Census, 34.5 million Americans identify as primarily or partially Irish in their heritage. However, if you're like me and you spent every St. Patrick's Day eating homemade soda bread and watching "The Quiet Man," odds are you're one of the few "Irish Americans" who actually lives up to their Irish roots.
1. You have at least two siblings, if not more.
Big Irish Catholic family stereotype = 100 percent accurate.
2. No one says your name right, ever.
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After years of being called everything except for "uh-lan-uh" (say Atlanta without the t's), I just had to settle for the Americanized "uh-lawn-uh" instead. To all the the Niamh's and Eoghan's out there, Godspeed.
3. But also your name has some beautiful meaning to it.
Alana, Alanna, or Alannah is a term of endearment that means "darling girl" or "joy." My Nana used to call my sister "Tara Alana," which is where my name comes from.
4. You tried Irish Dance at least once in your life.
And you either got crazy good at it or quit after two classes.
5. If you're not from the Northeast or Chicago, the majority of your extended family is.
That is, unless your family were the only ones to leave for the States. The most concentrated Irish populations are in New York, Boston, or Chicago, so if your family's been in the States for a few generations, odds are they emigrated here.
6. You've been to Ireland more than any other European country.
And if you've never left the States, it'll be the first stamp in your passport.
7. Your extended family is very outspoken.
My dad's side of the family can tell if a relationship will work or not based on how well the new boyfriend/girlfriend holds his or her own in a family dinner conversation. So if you want to fit in in an Irish family, you have to be as headstrong as the rest of us.
8. You have an Irish Blessing or a "céad mÃle fáilte" sign hanging somewhere in your house.
Because who needs just "welcome" when you can have A HUNDRED THOUSAND WELCOMES.
9. You are incredibly Catholic.
Catholic school or CCD K-12, no exceptions. And you better believe Mom calls every Sunday to make sure you went to Mass.
10. You'll have tea over coffee any day.
Coffee is for caffeine. Tea is for enjoyment. End of story.
11. Your staple meal is some kind of meat and potatoes with the occasional vegetable.
Corned beef and cabbage, anyone?
12. Guinness in America just isn't the same.
It's a scientific fact. The Institute of Food Technologists says that Guinness gets a rating 20 points higher served in Ireland in comparison to any other country in the world. This has to do with the freshness of the keg and the general authenticity of the black brew in its home country.
13. Between its mascot and its Catholic foundation, Notre Dame is the standard for a college education.
(Until you decide to go to USC. #fighton)
14. Any tough situation is solved by your Nana lighting you a candle in church.
Many an acceptance letter and good grade can be traced back to that holy flame.
15. Even though all of America gets to be Irish every March 17, you get to be Irish all the time. (And that's pretty freaking awesome.)
But, seriously, it's the best of both worlds. You get to affiliate with the creators of modern democracy and the creators of St. Patrick's Day. The world gets to thank you for life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and a holiday dedicated to wearing copious amounts of green and having a stellar time. You're welcome, world.
