1. Our campus is absolutely hideous and not Instagrammable whatsoever. I don’t even remember the name of that really famous building. Garson Hall? Gaston? Something like that.
2. Seriously, it’s even uglier during springtime. Ugh.
3. Professors don’t care at all about your wellbeing or your growth as an intellectual and human being generally. They are never available to talk further about something mentioned in class and surely won’t serve as mentors to you.
4. There is NOTHING to do in Boston. You enjoy art? Don’t even consider the MFA. How about sports? Sorry, Boston doesn’t have an entire street dedicated to the Red Sox, that would just be silly! You like history? Well good luck, because there is no history around here. What about the Boston Tea Party, you ask? Please, it’s not as if that was even a key event for the American Revolution…
5. The tailgates are not fun at all. Don’t go.
6. Our school has no spirit when it comes to football (who is Doug Flutie???) or hockey games. Nobody enjoys talking smack about our rivalry teams, either.
7. There is nowhere peaceful to study. Bapst is incredibly loud, and does not resemble Hogwarts whatsoever. Who would want to study in a place like this?
8. If you have a passion or hobby you want to pursue in your extracurriculars, there probably isn’t a club for it. There are only over 200 clubs on campus, ranging from athletics to student government to service. How dreadful.
9. Don’t even get me started on the Jesuits. Men and women for others? Being attentive, reflective, and loving? Come on, wouldn’t you just rather go to a school, get your degree, and get out of there?
10. You’ll never have a deep and meaningful conversation with another student on campus. Boston College students have a tendency to be passionate, curious, and more than willing to better society. Isn’t that terrible?
11. We don’t have Greek life. How have we survived?! This is a mystery to all BC students. Statistics have unfortunately proven that for every day that passes at BC without sororities and fraternities, a butterfly loses its wings.
12. Since Boston College is so young (it was founded in 1863 – how cute), it has very little tradition. For instance, most seniors want to live off campus instead of going for the mods because senior housing on campus is lame and nothing fun ever happens in a mod. Additionally, ResLife is totally ready to tear those down; all the alumni that lived there will be glad to know their mod has been demolished.
13. The snacks in the Chocolate Bar are not satisfying whatsoever. I’ve never had one of those life-changing, spiritually awakening moments after eating one of their special Oreo treats.
14. Speaking of food, most students rarely go to Late Night. There is an especially low attendance on the weekends. The last thing we need on a Friday night is a serving of mozz sticks, am I right?
15. You’ll never truly have that “home away from home” feeling. From orientation to graduation, there is a slim chance you will make lifelong friendships and leave BC a more well rounded person.
Disclaimer: Just kidding, Go Eagles!
