I recently returned from 27 days in Europe, and while the experience was beyond incredible, America is, quite simply, better. Here is why:

1. America is huge.

Europe is only 1.04 times larger than America, and Europe is 51 countries combined. Furthermore, Texas (aka home sweet home) is larger than all of France. Enough said.

2. Free bathrooms

I had to pay a euro to use the "water closet" many, many times. Paying money for something that has to happen to live? Absurd. Many times I had to quell the urge to chant "Free to Pee!"

3. Walmart

Though they think it funny and cliche, Walmart is an amazing place. There is no store in Europe where you can go and get underwear, mulch, tires and your groceries at one time.

4. Drive thrus

Seeing that Europe is so much smaller, in the cities less people drive, and I never once saw a drive thru. They also don't have Whataburger, Chick-fil-A, Canes... you know, the necessities.

5. Free water

Every restaurant asked if you wanted water, but it was a trick because you'd always have to pay for it. America gives you ice cold water free anywhere you go.

6. Small coffees

Usually coffee comes in a full cup of your chosen size, but in Europe they give you a tiny half-empty cup for the same prices.

7. Double standard of accents

Europeans come to America and we fawn over their pretty accents. But when we go there, we are ridiculed for our poor pronunciation. So rude.

8. We have the better music.

Almost every public place was playing American music, which was funny because at clubs only the Americans actually knew and sang the words.

9. Less smoking

Smoking in Europe is done everywhere by almost everyone. In America people who do smoke at least generally don't blow their smoke in crowded public areas.

10. Dr. Pepper

European Fanta may be delicious, but there's something about Dr. Pepper. I was very glad to get one on the plane ride home.

11. Hand shakes

Right when I met people they'd go in for a kiss on the cheek...no thank you I don't know you. Personal space please.

12. Sports

European football is amazing sure, but there something about our Friday night football and tailgates that they just can't beat.

13. Dishwashers and dryers

I never once saw a dishwasher, and pretty much everyone hang dries their clothes. This proves we know how to save time.

14. Breakfast foods

Breakfast in Europe is generally a baked good and a coffee. Unless you order the "American Breakfast" proving they realized we know how to start the day right. Pancakes are important.

15. National pride

I don't think you'll ever hear people gathering together and chanting "France! France! France!" but come to any American sports gathering and you're sure to hear the great, "U-S-A!, U-S-A!, U-S-A!"

No place I'd rather be. 'Murica