The car is packed, road trip snacks are fully stocked, and your "Summer 2K16 roadtrippin" mixtape is straight fire. After scrupulous analysis of your packing list, you've decided you have everything you could ever need for your journey ahead. Heck, there's even things in your car that you don't need; like those five books you're claiming to read over the three days you're gonna be in the car. But hey, it never hurts to be prepared, right? As you pull out of the driveway, turn off your street, and get onto the interstate, feeling the freedom of adventure unleashed in your expectant bones. This is it. You've made it. The road trip has begun, and the winds of freedom are gently kissing your face which has been sheltered by textbooks and fluorescent lights for the last nine months.
You and four friends have piled into the smallest and most fuel efficient vehicle in your group and you're ready to hit the road. You convince yourself the small space will make you better friends in the end, and the financial side of the gas mileage is too good to pass up.
As you embark, you're ready for the ride. You've been on road trips with your family and it's been...fun. But now, with you and your closest friends, how could it not be amazing? You're pumped, you're ready, and you're oblivious to what lies ahead. As you pull out of the drive way, you quickly realize the emotional rollercoaster you've just put yourself in. Emotions start to run high, and the adventure begins.
1. You will always forget something
Just as you begin to realize that this is a reality, that the road trip you have planned for the last six months is really happening, you hear a screeching voice come ringing from the back seat. Apparently your friend, in their careful analysis of their packing list has managed to forget the ONE AND ONLY thing they absolutely need to make this trip happen. And just when you thought you were home free, your back home, picking up that one, forgotten iPhone charger and pair of sandals.
2. Your car will forever smell like the open road
We all have that one friend. Two minutes into the road trip, and their shoes are off, their pits are open, and the smells of the road trip begin. From the second they have been released, your car will never be the same. The road trip smells have begun. Mix that in with some chex mix and a couple of sodas, and you've got yourself a road trip scented nightmare for the next four days.
3. Music will go from good to bad to "singalong" in a matter of hours
You've made your Summer 2K16 Roadtrippin" playlist, and it is straight fire. I mean, you're almost afraid to play it because it's so good. You've got it all on there. Classics, top 40, the whole shebang. But, inevitably, it comes to an end. Probably within the first day, because you forgot that a road trip is longer than 3 hours of driving. Slowly but surely, the car begins to deteriorate. Without the presence of your expert song list, the car instantly reverts to the classics in a desperate attempt to maintain sanity. However, eventually, singalongs become a reality. And they last for a VERY long time. You will start the road trip loving some genres and hating others, only to come out the other side being mildly tolerant of all forms of music, even the acapella sonnets of your closest friends.
4. There will be annoyingly staggered pee schedules...no matter what
Well, you've made it. You're on the road. You've only had to turn around four times to gather the things forgotten, and now you're free. Racing down the interstate at the speed of adventure. For the first hour, everything is perfect; the music, the conversation, the excitement of the open road. But then, out of nowhere, it begins. From the first call, all hell breaks loose. The floodgates have been opened. The first pee-er has spoken. From this point on, none of you will EVER be able to pee at the same time for the rest of the trip. Instead, you will stop every 37 minutes to satisfy the screaming bladders of your occupants.
5. The awkward silences are inevitable
Eventually, the music fades, singalongs have ceased (for now), and the awkward silences begin. It usually starts with one person. They slowly fade out of conversation, only to stare blankly at the boring landscape outside. Eventually, everyone takes their cue, and before you know it, your car has settled into the awkward silence stage of your road trip. No one is willing to break it, and eventually, it becomes a game to see who can last the longest without saying a word. And, inevitably, the silence intensifies.
6. Deciding where to eat will forever be a passive-aggressive battle that no one ever wins
Eventually, the silence will be broken. And the only reason is to find somewhere to eat. You've driven all day, consuming gummy bears and gold fish crackers, but now, it's time for some real food. In an attempt to be a good road trip partner, you decide not to be selfish and allow the other riders to decide on where to eat, because frankly, you don't care. All you want is some substantial food. However, this decision inevitably becomes the most fierce passive-egressive battle you will ever have in your life, ever. No one will ever be willing to decide on what to eat, and when you do, no one will actually be happy with the decision.
7. Traffic is hard and emotions will run high
You've been driving for hour after hour on the wide open interstates, where your car, and your hearts, can run wild and free. But eventually, you have to pass through a major city. And inevitably, it is ALWAYS at rush hour. You are quickly at a stand still in traffic, and slowly but surely, tensions rise. Pee-er number four is almost due for their break, but there is no way you are moving in time to satisfy their sensitive bladder. Eventually, as tensions grow and cars continue to remain stagnant, emotions rise to an unhealthy level. All you can do is keep your head down and hope to God that you will make it out of this traffic still friends.
8. Asking for directions is a constant battle between pride and majority rule
It is an age old battle of road tripping. The struggle of asking for directions. Nowadays, with the invention of GPS available on every phone, directions are easier than ever. However, we all have that one friend who refuses to ever use electronics to guide their paths. They claim that they "want to go where the wind takes them." That their heart will guide them home. But, eventually, a wrong turn is made, and you are ultimately lost. As you plead with your friend to ask for directions, he refuses, only to drive you farther and farther away from your destination. Eventually, you pull out your phone, reroute yourself, and carefully and deceptively guide the driver into getting back on route by encouraging a turn here, or a turn there. But it's no big deal right? You're only 90 miles off schedule.
9. Trusting the driver can be a challenge
You've been driving for hours, and finally, it is someone else's turn. You pull into a gas station, and hesitantly give up your reign of the steering wheel of your car. As you get into the passenger seat and let our a sigh of relief, trying to relax, your friend hops in, peels out, and swerves wildly into traffic. From this point on, you know that you will not be relaxing at any point on this road trip.
10. Your car will never be the perfect temperature, no matter how hard you try
It's the wide open road in the summer. As the trip starts, the windows are down, and the winds of adventure are keeping your body at the perfect temperature. However, within minutes of leaving the house, your body, and the car, will never again be the perfect temperature. It will either feel as though you are driving through the Sahara, or trekking through Antarctica. The rest of the trip will be a game of "Windows or AC?" as you try, but fail, to keep your car at a somewhat stable temperature.
And inevitably, the car smells will only grow all the more with the increasing heat.
11. The awkward, sweaty encounters with those next to you in the back seat are going to become strangely comforting
It's summer, and you're stuck inside of an ever changing hotbox of temperature and emotion. Eventually, you start to sweat. Brilliantly you and your five friends decided to cram into the smallest car that any of you own for the next six days. But hey, it's worth it for the gas mileage, right?
As you sit in the back seat, sweating in the summer heat, you grow oddly accustomed to the feeling of both your legs stuck to the leather seats, or the awkward embrace of your sweaty thigh with that of the person sitting next to you. And it becomes oddly comforting.
12. The roadtrip diet will consume you
Over time, you've come to learn the dangers of trying to find somewhere to eat as a collective whole, and eventually, you settle into the "Roadtrip Diet." For the next several days, your dietary intake will consist of gummy bears, beef jerky, gold fish crackers, and peach rings. Your body will scream at you for your lousy diet, but hey, it's better than having to decide where to eat, right?
13. Everyone will quickly assume roles in the car, and you will quickly realize who the cornerstone of your group is... and they will become the most vital member of your group
Every good road trip must consist of a solid corner stone. By partaking of this road trip, you have successfully packed up to five or six differing personalities into a small, metal box. All in all, tensions will rise, emotions will run high, and the "crazies" will start to come out. Roles will be assigned; the "moms" and "dads" will be designated, and the wild children will make a name for themselves. Some will go insane, others will let their emotions get the best of them, and hopefully, at least one, will remain calm through it all, even if it's only on the surface.
14. The hand dolphin is inevitable, and oh so fun
It's summer, you're cruising down the road, and the windows are down. That wide open air becomes a sea of possibility, and as you move your hand out the window, it soon gains a mind of its own. No longer is this hand a part of your body, it is a dolphin, swimming in the seas of adventure just outside your car window. And it is by far the best remedy for the wave of emotions you have felt for the past four days.
15. You will become an expert in driver seat yoga
No human being was ever designed to sit inside the confines of a car for more than two hours. Over time, you become an expert in "driver seat yoga." Never before have you realized just how flexible you are, and how many different possible ways there are to sit in the seat of a car.
16. The slow decline of mental stability and rational thought begins on day one and only grows with each day
Eventually, after days in the car, the slow decline begins. All sense of self-awareness is gone, and everyhting is infinitely funnier than it should be. All reason for your actions is gone, and your actions are dictated by some unknown source. Slowly you find yourself almost enjoying being in the car, and adventure is everywhere, even in your seat. And this, is when the true fun of the road trip begins.
In the end, no matter how uncomfortable it can get, it is always worth it
While there are many struggles to be faced on a road trip, we all know how worth it they are. Cruising across the country with your closest friends creates a bond that can never be broken. You will learn to love each other, even through the misery, and in the end, you will look back loving every moment of the trip. So go ahead, plan that road trip, and embrace every second of it, because there is no greater adventure than the open road with those you love.
With help from the creative minds of Megan Tabor and Alexis Perez