Whether your significant other lives right down the block or half way across the world, there are bound to be questions you have for them on a daily basis. Some may be honest inquires, and some may be a trap. The only advice I have for men is tread carefully, no matter the question.
1. "Does ___ make me look fat?"
Run away. Run away fast.
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2. "Have you seen my ___?
At least pretend you're looking.
3. "Are you really going to go to the bar tonight?"
This is an opportunity for you to rethink your answer.
4. "Should I get the burger or the salad?"
This is a trap. Ask them what they are hungry for. Your answer will always be wrong.
5. "What do you want to do?"
All women are indecisive. It doesn't matter how much you complain about their indecisiveness, you're not going to get an answer.
6. "Not that. What else do you want to do?"
Try again.
7. "How was your day?"
"Fine" is not an appropriate answer.
8. "What movie do you want to watch?"
Be prepared to give multiple options because when she says she doesn't care, she really does care.
9. "Did you brush your teeth today?"
"I refuse to kiss you until you take care of basic hygiene."
10. "Can you pay attention to me?"
Blowup commencing in 5...4....3...
11. "Wanna go shopping? It will only take 20 minutes, tops."
OK, maybe more like two hours, but she needs someone to hold her purse!
12. "Can you pick me up some feminine hygiene products?"
No, it is not going to make your skin boil off at the touch of it. No, people won't look at you weird.
13. "Which color lipstick looks better with this dress?"
She knows you can see the difference between Russian Red and Romantic Red, don't try to convince her otherwise.
14. "Do you we really have to go see the in-laws?"
If it is a holiday of any sort, the answer is yes. If it's a random weekend in January and you rather be partaking in various other activities, the answer is no.
15. "Did you really just buy that?"
"Do you have the receipt? 'Cuz that's going back to where it came from."
16. "You love me, right?"
Because I love you so, so, so much.
