Does everybody really know how to surf? Is the traffic actually that bad? Do you know the Kardashians? Have you ever gotten plastic surgery? Are there earthquakes everyday? What's an acai bowl?
If you've ever been asked at least one of these questions, you are most likely a Southern California native. If you have ever asked at least one of these questions, you are likely unfamiliar with the genuine experience of living in LA. We residents of Los Angeles know that answering these questions is just something that comes along with living in the beautiful place that we do. Although they can be annoying to some people, I find them to be humorous and entertaining. The rumors about Los Angeles living never fail to make me laugh, and they quite honestly do make me more thankful for the area I am proud to call my home. Like all other rumors, some about Los Angeles are very true, while others are very, very false.
Let's break it down, shall we?
1. There is no such thing as public transportation.
I mean yes, of course there are buses and I'm 96% sure there are subways, but the only relevant modes of public transportation are Lyft and Uber. That is all you need to know.
2. The gym is like a second home.
Yoga, pilates, spinning, hiking, weight lifting, and the likes are very in. Most people in Los Angeles truly do prioritize their figures, and going to the gym is a very serious hobby and important daily activity for several locals. You feel good when you look good! Of course, however, we are normal humans and we still love pizza and we eat it excessively. But, that said, although I love chocolate and carbs as much as the next girl, it is very empowering to live in a community where people value their appearance, and work hard and stay healthy to maintain outstanding physical health.
3. Organic eating is a lifestyle.
Is this even a question? Anyone from the area can confirm that trendy foods are very much a thing in LA. Whether it be acai bowls, kale, fonuts, wheatgrass, or hemp milk, we are always finding overpriced and super exotic things to eat, merely because its the in thing to do according to magazines and celebrities. In reality, if you ask someone LA to name off some redeeming qualities about Pressed Juice and steel-cut oats, they wouldn't be able to do so. P.S. - if you lived in a coastal area, you would eat sushi as much as we do too. What other way would you want to go besides mercury poisoning?
4. Everybody works in the industry.
If this were true, both of my parents would be unemployed. Although several fields are linked to Hollywood, Los Angeles professionals are doctors, lawyers, teachers, Uber drivers, sales clerks, waitresses, and other normal things! Not all of us have our own reality shows or are Instagram models who get paid to advertise magical blue gummy bears that make your hair grow. I wish.
5. A cold day is 70 degrees...Fahrenheit.
Rain is a solid indicator of a potential zombie apocalypse, and if its below 90 outside, you may as well grab a warm sweater...and a sugar-free skinny vanilla latte, while you're at it.
6. Driving next to Angelyne is the most exciting thing that can happen to an individual.
Spotting "The Billboard Queen" cruising around in her pink corvette might even trump a fifteen minute wait at Malibu farm. Maybe. Every Los Angeles native has seen Angelyne at least once, although many of us are too young to recognize her for what she's known for, posing on billboards, and truth be told, seeing her is extremely exciting. Fun fact: One time, at my sister's birthday dinner, a friend of my sister's saw Angelyne in the same restaurant the party was in. She asked Angelyne if she could walk over 5 feet to where the party was and which my sister a happy birthday, but alas, Angelyne said she could not, because her appearance fees are $500. That's just how exclusive she is. We're talking Beyonce level, according to Los Angelans.
7. It can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half to reach the same destination.
The accuracy of this statement cannot be overstressed. Save as much time as possible when driving a questionable distance, and if worse comes to worst, you have more time in the car to listen to Ryan's Roses before work!
8. Everyone is friends with Kendall and Kylie.
Half-true. Rather, everyone knows someone who sits behind someone in class who has a friend who's older cousin's dance teacher's nephew's step-brother is acquainted with Kendall or Kylie. Something like that. But no, Drake is not my neighbor and I don't see Kanye at the movies. However, when we do meet celebrities, its not low-key at all and very hyped! Even celebs get excited about meeting celebs!
9. Everyday is spent at the beach.
Just because we live by the coast, we still have jobs, go to school, and do normal things. If only we could spend every waking moment tanning by the waves and flirting with hot lifeguards! That's what the weekends are for ;-)
10. We have all had work done.
Botox, plastic surgery, and injections are far more common than you would think. However, Los Angeles does employ the best surgeons in the business, so more often than not, you won't be able to tell who has had some features enhanced. Fake it till you make it!
Rest in peace Joan, the ultimate and eternal queen of Lalaland!
11. "Like" and "you know" are as imbedded in our vocabulary as much as "the" and "and."
As a valley girl born and raised, I can attest to the fact that, while we are exposed to such lingo quite frequently and do need to work extra hard to avoid them, we can actually hold normal conversations without inserting a filler word or five in every sentence.
12. Frozen yogurt is everything and more.
Self-serve, Wow Cow frozen yogurt with a side of carob chips and granola is the key to any L.A. girl's heart. This is worth remembering.
13. What's the deal with the valley?
"The Valley" refers to none other than the San Fernando Valley. No other valley. This is the only one that counts. Don't get it twisted.
14. In-N-Out is as wonderful as it seems.
Close your eyes and imagine what heaven would taste like. Welcome to In-N-Out.
15. We bring our dogs everywhere.
Whether you have a trendy lapdog or a fluffy lab or German Shepard, all dogs are always welcome in most places around the valley, and the animal love in Southern California is so real! P.S. - Cats are fabulous as well.
Al in all, living in Los Angeles is quite a wild ride, but I wouldn't have it any other way, nor would I want to spend my days anywhere else! Its a truly unique experience, and undeniably, a blessing.
