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Health and Wellness

15 Lies You've Told Your Parents In College

Alexa Berg

Apr 27, 2015

Purdue University

15 Lies You've Told Your Parents In College

1. "Yeah school is going well, my classes are pretty interesting.".

Yeah there's no way in hell college is easy, my professor spits when he talks, and failing is inevitable.

2. "I haven't really been drinking very much at school. I don't have time with all of my school work.".

The second part is true i guess, I probably shouldn't go out but I do What do you expect? A girl's gotta have some fun.

3. “I hate shots. If I had a choice I'd rather just bring some wine coolers or something.".

I actually just beat my Jello shot record last night.

4. “I have 7:30's three days a week, so I usually am in bed by like 12 LATEST.".

While normally I'm watching Netflix with my homework open… don't really know if I've done it.

5. “What am I doing this weekend? Oh probably laundry then studying for my exam next week, I'm trying to work ahead.".

No. I'm sorry but the correct answer is Netflix, Frisbee, dartys, and pong.

6. “I get up every morning to grab breakfast before class, even if that means waking up early.". e

That has as much chance as a snowball in Hell.

7. “I usually do my laundry every Sunday, just like at home.".

I am currently sitting on Mt. Everest of clothes in the corner of my room. Don't worry, I'll get to it eventually!

8. “I've probably only skipped once this semester, but it was only because I was sick and it was just a lecture.". (Has not been to this class once).

9. “Sorry about how much I've been spending, it's so difficult to save since textbooks and the food are so expensive.".

What textbooks? I still haven't gotten half of them, and I've spent 200 dollars in the past month on my chipotle habits.

10. “Yeah I'm not seeing anyone at school because I honestly just don't have enough time for it after my sorority, philanthropy, community service, and my school work. I'm just too busy!".

No one loves me. I came, I saw, I've been rejected.

11. “I probably go to the Co-Rec at least 5 times a week.".

I suppose if I walk to class today, that counts as daily cardio. Plus I heard you burn a lot of calories while sleeping. So with those two combined I should be okay!

12. “What am I doing this summer? Oh I have a couple internships lined up but I'm still trying to see what's out there.".

Who am I kidding? I'm working at Starbucks for the rest of my life..

13. “I'll call you back when I get home from the library, no I won't forget!".

Please stop calling, Facebook messaging, Emailing, Snapchatting, Instagram messaging, texting through my sister, smoke signaling, miming me from home. Please. I beg you.

14. “I can't wait to come home for summer!".

15. “I know my classes are hard but in all honesty, I know my professors are just trying to challenge me and prepare me for the real world.".

THEY ARE THE DEVIL I TELL YOU. THEY ARE ALL CONSPIRING TO FAIL ME OUT OF THIS SCHOOL.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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15 Lies You've Told Your Parents In College

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

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