Google it, look on YouTube, read some Tumblr blogs- anywhere you look, you can find lists of hundreds of reasons to stop — or to never start — self-harming in the first place. None of them really work for me — they're too every day for me to really connect with in the 'heat of the moment.' I've had to think of some on my own that are more compelling than the typical "friend, family, pet" reasoning, at least for me. This is my list, and I encourage you to write your own.
1. To be "recovered" and not "in recovery."
Just because I'm tired of the questions being in present tense. I'd much rather say "I used to do this, but I've been clean since..." versus "I do this every other day"; it helps me remember that failing at self-harm is succeeding at recovery, and that people see strength in conquering addiction, not remaining stuck in it. Try to apply your reasoning to other addictions and see if it fits- most people don't see drug addicts as "strong" while in their addiction.
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2. To not be looked down upon as 'juvenile' or stuck in a teenage phase.
Society incorrectly often views self-harmers as childish or 'emo.' While we're getting better at it, there will always be some amount of stigma.
3. To not have to explain why mommy has rows of scars
on her arm, hips, and thighs. Children are so innocent, and I don't want to explain to mine- or anyone else's- where my scars came from.
4. To avoid the hospital
Getting there usually involves going too far and then having to tell someone else, which can be embarrassing and result in a lot of awkward questions, and often means spending time on 72-hour mandatory psychiatric holds. Not fun, not to mention a lot of medical professionals aren't understanding or even professional about it. Self-harm can get you put into long-term psychiatric treatment as well.
5. It itches
All wounds itch as they heal. If you're constantly self-harming, you're also likely going to be scratching for a large part of the healing time. It's a constant reminder, yes, but it's also ridiculously annoying when even the thickest lotions and creams can't calm that sensation.
6. The next day
The guilt, shame, and anxiety are all bad enough, but on top of that, you might have to change a bandage, and that can be triggering and painful. And are you prepared to regret it all over again, to start over from 0 days clean?
7. If you want to use self-harm to punish yourself, then why would you deserve the release?
You don't need to punish yourself, but at the very least avoiding bodily harm is a positive in the anxious moments.
8. To not let X have that much control over you
School, anxiety, depression, your weight, your thoughts, other's opinions... none of them should have that have much influence over you. You should be able to do what you want unhindered by the guilt and negative feelings other life circumstances cause.
9. To have more energy
I didn't realize how much energy self-harm was taking from me until I stopped. After self-harming, I don't want to do anything but mope in my depression and guilt. Not self-harming is hard while I'm sucked into the urge, but I still have some decent energy left afterward.
10. It's messy
Seriously, blood, bandages, skin... none of it is very easy or pleasant to clean, and it's even harder to get rid of the feeling. They all seem to leave behind some kind of residue that serves as a longer reminder of self-harm.
11. There's enough bloodshed in the world
And I don't want to have to live- much less raise any potential children- in a world that is okay with people bleeding.
12. To legitimize my relapse
Many people who self-harm don't feel like they're 'bad enough' or go deep enough to qualify as a "self-harmer." This can be incredibly invalidating and triggering to feel. And if we don't draw blood, then sometimes it feels like other people won't take us seriously either- and many times, they don't. When I feel like my self-harm isn't bad enough to 'count,' it is sometimes helpful to remind myself that if I'm clean for a longer period of time before I relapse, then it can feel more real and hold more weight than just continuing at the unsatisfactory level of the present; that I tried recovery and it didn't work, so I have to be sick on some level.
13. So jokes don't sting as badly
They always will, but things like 'go cut/kill yourself' will become distasteful and offensive jokes, while that phrase and many others can often feel like personal attacks or suggestions while in a relapse or relapse mindset.
14. What will people think?
I know that my identity and worth isn't based off of other's opinions, but if keeping my reputation intact is helpful in the hard moments, then I'll use it.
15. I don't want to trigger anyone else
If anyone sees my scars or bandages, they could be triggered to harm themselves. It's not my 'fault,' but I did contribute to someone's self-harm, and I cannot be happy with myself while carrying that guilt.
There's never a reason 'good enough' to legitimize self-harm, but when it feels like it, there are also reasons to resist. Keep on fighting, warriors.
