It has been three weeks, and you'd think I'd go into some nostalgic Rose-from-Titanic spiel there, right? Wrong. I am still internally screaming. This will, however, be the last of my "Infinity War" rants. Catch the other three on my page: my commentary, summing up the seven stages of grief , and how I dealt with the fact that, yes, I, like so many others, am suffering from the death of a favorite character.
Here is how I have been, and intend to keep, dealing with the latest blow to my emotions until "Avengers 4" comes out next year.
1. Clinging to my Avengers pillowcase and sobbing.
Hiddleston cries prettier than I do.
2. Vaguely wondering what the crap they're going to do to fix this catastrophe.
Whether said catastrophe is half the universe disappearing into dust, or Thanos' face, I can't decide.
3. Deciding I can't wait that long and fixing it myself with fan fiction.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF THE POWER OF THE PEN!
4. Coming up with fan theories by the dozen.
My spidey-senses are tingling. There's another one out there that I haven't come up with yet, I can feel it.
5. Doing all the research I can.
TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SOUL WORLD, INTERNET!
6. Screaming at the brilliantly improved scenes.
Of note, "I'm back up," "I see you copied my beard," "Why is Gamora?" and I SWEAR, HOLLAND IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY QUOTING THE TENTH DOCTOR THERE... I don't know how to finish that threat.
7. Watching "Spider-Man: Homecoming" and remembering happier times.
(insert ugly crying here)
8. Decidedly NOT planning the murder of anyone.
Don't worry, Russo brothers. You're perfectly safe from me.
9. Watching "Spider-Man: Homecoming" and sobbing.
While wondering just what we're going to tell Aunt May.
10. Actually, just watching "Spider-Man: Homecoming."
It's remarkably soothing after what we've just been through.
11. Going through the seven stages of grief in three seconds flat.
Plot twist where Ultron's heart is actually mine: Like that.
12. Beating my friend with a wedding program when he triggered my fangirl reflexes.
To be precise, he started singing a most ingenious parody called "Another One Turns to Dust." He was beaten soundly.
13. Denying everything that ever happened in "Infinity War."
I don't know who these people are. Who's that big purple grape? Who's that dude who looks like Squidward? That one BA chick? I don't know them. What a mystery this is.
14. Vaguely wondering how I plan to continue my as-of-now completely canonical Loki fan fiction.
No, Thor, you big space labradoodle, that is a patently AWFUL idea.
15. Mentally unhinging on a regular basis.
Always.
