Day 1: For my challenge I have decided to wear makeup for fifteen days. I never wear makeup, not to stick it to the patriarchy and defy gender norms - as is the trend nowadays - but because I'm too lazy give enough of a shit to care about stuff like that. Since I never had that middle school “scene phase” where every girl caked on full eye makeup appropriated from the local raccoons, I really have no idea how to apply my stash of products - a mix of eye shadows and lipsticks commandeered from my mother, some mascara and eyeliner I had been talked into while shopping at Target, and various kits I procured from friends exiting their scene stages. For day one, I went with a berry lipstick ($3 at Target), some crappy eyeliner (mystery couch find), and some mascara ($2 at CVS). It seems my biggest threat for this challenge will be Bean, my energetic kitten, who bit my foot mid-eyeliner application, resulting in a black/brown streak extending up to my right eyebrow, and then proceeded to jump on my lap, rub her furry body against my newly-lipsticked mouth, and then lick the remaining lipstick/cat hair concoction off of my lips.

Day 2: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our only eyeliner. I attempted to hurry and scrawl a mostly neat line on my lid before work, but ended up taking so long its marker tip dried out. The remaining makeup, some tinted Chapstick and some non-waterproof mascara, completely melted off my face at work. It seems I will have to go on a run to Target and pick up some new clearance finds.

In loving memory of Brown Eyeliner 2015-2016

Day 3: Following the death of my brown eyeliner, I searched my house for something else I could use. In one of my old gymnastics bags I found a green, glittery eye pencil I used to wear to show team spirit when I competed for the Cross Island YMCA. Running late for work, I settled for the putrid color and drew the most even and beautifully cat-eyed eyeliner that I could muster. I was really proud myself and was devastated when I realized that when I got chalk in my eyes while spotting a girl on uneven bars, and I had rubbed it all off. I decided to do a more dramatic look when I got home--complete with three shades of eyeshadow to make a barely-there, nude smokey eye--for when we went out to dinner for my sister’s birthday. I’m not sure if it was my glasses or the dimly lit Benihana, but my makeup did not show up in any of the pictures. If I’m going to wear makeup, I might as well have it be noticeable. It seems the trip to Target is more necessary than I originally realized.

Day 4: I was just finished putting on mascara when I got an alert saying the E train was running with serious delays so I had to leave extra early if I was going to make it to my 12:25 quiz on time. Thankfully, I still had some golden glitter schmutz on my eyelids from the night before--let’s ignore the fact that I have yet to remember to actively wash my makeup off and instead just continue my usual nighttime quick rinse--so I wasn't completely bare faced. Although, since no one has made any notice of my makeup so far, I'm beginning to think that even when I wear all of the makeup I own at once, which granted isn't much, I still don't look like I'm wearing any.

Day 5: I went to school bare faced today--not that anyone noticed the difference--and ventured off to the ELF store, a brand I only am familiar with because it is dirt cheap and they sell it at Target. I explained my challenge to the woman who offered to help me and she aided in finding a whole new face. I got an eyeshadow pencil with matching eyeliner that I can use easily on my uncalloused, virgin eyelids, which are not used to the wear and tear of daily makeup application, as well as an eyebrow pencil that will hopefully make me look like a Kardashian, a vial of the first ever concealer that I have found to match my vaguely olive complexion, and a lipstick which is natural enough to be worn with most of the products I now own, and also “tastes fantastic” to quote my salesperson. If I could remember her name I would have left rave reviews on Yelp.

Day 6: The stars aligned and all of my classes were canceled today (except one but let’s ignore it), allowing me to participate in history in the making; I was at the Bernie Sanders rally in Washington Square park with almost 50 thousand other people, the largest in United States history. From 2:30-5:00, while waiting on line to get into the park, my perfectly manicured lids and eyebrows were upstaged by the dip-dyed, rainbow woman behind me holding a “Feminist Mermaid’s for Bernie” poster. From 5:00-8:00, while waiting for Bernie to speak, my immaculate face paint was lost in the mob of people standing around me, and from 8:00 onward, it didn’t matter what I looked like because BERNARD SANDERS WAS SPEAKING TO ME. I was thirty feet from him. It’s a miracle I didn’t cry. I was shocked to finally stagger into the house at close to midnight to find that my makeup had not melted off my face. ELF makeup earns a 10/10 in durability in my book, will I buy more? To Be Continued...

Day 7: Trekked back into the city with my mom today and we went to see Fiddler on the Roof. I tried to match my golden eyeshadow to the promotional posters for the show, but ended up looking like I tried to make myself look presentable enough to get a good husband from the matchmaker, even though I have no dowry. Too forced? So was the makeup.

Day 8: I didn't do anything today so I just put on some moisturizer and tinted chapstick and pretended that counted. I was half hoping that someone would comment that I wasn't wearing anything to show that they were, in fact, noticing all of my hard work. But alas, no. It literally holds no significance to anyone's life, including my own, if I am wearing makeup or not. Why do people think people care about this stuff?

Day 9: My sister had a birthday party at Bounce, the trampoline park. Huge mistake thinking I could wear makeup to this place. I left looking as though I had been hit by a train, with foam bits in my waxy eyebrows, sweaty streaks of mascara running down my face, and glitter somehow reaching it’s final resting place across my forehead and in my hair. Women in labor look better than I do right now.

Day 10: I failed. I am a failure. I just couldn’t find the time to put makeup on before work and then didn’t bother to when I got home. I just hate the feeling of having to wear makeup. At first I liked putting a little extra effort into my appearance because it made me feel a little good about myself. But now? I feel like those people who put on makeup just to go to the laundromat or the supermarket; those people who feel ugly and insecure without their mask on.

Day 11: I currently have makeup on with no plans. I feel ridiculous and I’m exhausted from putting this sludge on my face. Can I quit yet?

Day 12: I'm finding it harder and harder to write something new for each day of this assignment. Every day starts with me scrambling to look like an Instagram makeup guru and falling short to, at the very best, a very precocious middle schooler who stole her mom's order from the Avon catalogue. On one occasion I even managed to look like a very convincing drag queen! But by the end of every day I successfully smudge my whole mask down from my eyes onto my cheeks, or underneath my eyelids to yield some truly lovely cosmetic gunk-balls directly on my eyeballs. It's only getting more and more exciting, I promise.

Day 13: I don't know how it took me this long to try it, but I tried putting makeup on in school today. I had to use the webcam on my laptop as a mirror because the sinks in the bathroom don't let me get close enough to see my face clearly without my glasses. Things were going well until it came to eyeliner application and I accidentally filled in half my eyelid with black goop after 8 minutes of trying to make the line equal. Rest In Peace, dignity.

Day 14: I can't believe I missed today. I just didn't have anywhere to go and I had no reason to do my makeup and I completely forgot. And so close to the end, too! Tomorrow I will have to finish with a bang, I guess.

Day 15: It's over! I'm finally done! After two weeks of unnecessarily painting my face with makeup to sit at home, go to school, or go to work as a gymnastics coach. I know all too many people who feel like they have to wear it to feel pretty, or even adequate and that just can't be healthy or productive in any way. I can't even calculate how many hours I've probably spent in just these 15 days that I will never get back trying to make my face up. I can't say that I'll never wear makeup again--putting in the extra effort and giving myself the attention really boosts your confidence, and I think I've gotten quite good at putting the stuff on--but I don't ever want to feel as insecure with a bare face as a do now. I'm glad it's over.