Family and friends usually try to look out for you and offer help when they think you need it, but sometimes their advice isn’t all that helpful. Sure, their intentions are in the right place, but sometimes they’ll say things that do more bad than good. If you’re overweight and buying food or clothing, they may offer up some guidance that seems good to them, but can actually do harm to your self-esteem and self-image. Here’s fifteen of the most popular fatphobic comments heard from family and friends.

1. “Black is very thinning!”

Sure, I might wear black a lot, but it’s not because it’s slimming.

2. “I think you'd look better in vertical stripes rather than horizontal stripes.”

Honey, I can rock any stripes, patterns, or shapes I want to, as long as I feel good about myself.

3. “You don't need another cookie.”

Really? I’ve had one and my brother has had four, but you’re telling ME to stop eating?

4. “Are you sure you should wear that?”

Um, yes I’m sure. I feel good in it, it’s appropriate for the occasion and my body isn’t there for other people’s enjoyment.

5. “That outfit is very slimming!”

Um… Thanks? That’s not what I was going for, but I guess it’s a compliment?

6. “I got you some low fat yogurt!”

Oh. Wow. Thanks. That’s exactly what I asked for.

7. “Are you regularly exercising?”

Actually, yes. But even if I didn’t, why is it your business?

8. “I'm concerned about your health.”

Really? Because it seems like you’re concerned about how I look. If it were about health, wouldn’t you be focusing on your own smoking habits than my weight?

9. “I know you like that shirt, honey, but it just doesn't look flattering on you.”

Well, I think it looks good and I’m not dressing to please anyone but myself.

10. “Have you tried using one of those body slimmers?”

Um. No. I don't plan on it either.

11. “I don't think a bikini/skirt/shorts/tank top would work with your body type.”

I can wear whatever the heck I want to. As long as I feel good and I’m dressing appropriately for the occasion, I see no problem with wearing shorts or a tank top.

12. “You look like you've lost weight!”

First of all, I don’t care. Second of all, why do you?

13. “You're looking very healthy, have you gone on a diet?”

Maybe I look healthy because I’m caring for myself and loving who I am instead of only allowing myself to drink smoothies.

14. “Ooh, have you tried this diet? I've heard it works wonders!”

No thank you. I don’t need to change anything about myself to feel beautiful.

15. “Have you started working on your bikini body yet?”

How many times do I have to say this? EVERY BODY IS A BIKINI BODY. I could be 300 pounds and still rock that two-piece. I don’t care what color your skin is, how many limbs you have, how old you are or what your body looks like. Anyone can rock their body in a bikini and they shouldn’t have to feel like they need to meet anyone’s standards but their own.

So the next time someone offers up their “advice” for your body, remember that even if their heart’s in the right place, you are beautiful no matter what you look like.