The Powerball is increasing every minute, making the prospects of winning even slimmer, but the rewards to much higher. Currently the Powerball is $1.5 billion dollars and the hype of every news outlet and 7/11 throughout the country. And although it’s more likely that I get struck by lightning and attacked by a shark in the same day, I still have hope. And I need to be prepared for what to do with my money if I do happen to win. Quit this damn editor-in-chief position - just kidding it’s not like they’re paying me or anything.
Buy a new puppy/puppies. Open up an animal shelter so I could play with said puppies all day long (and instagram with them of course).

Get that super new and fancy fat burning procedure that apparently chills the fat off your body because nothing else seems to work these days.

Then purchase a lifetime supply of Starbucks (can you even do this?- probably, billionaires can do anything) because I’m basic.
Get laser hair removal surgery so that I never have to put my life at risk again while balancing on one foot in the dorm showers while trying to shave my legs.

Go to soul cycle like every day because I’m addicted and it’s like a rule that billionaires have to be skinny.
Buy my parents a huge new house and then force them to let me have parties in it because I actually own it.

Never have to fill my water bottles with juice from the dining hall because I don’t want to spend money on chasers.

Build a shrine to me and my friends in our old high school because we’re washed up and seriously concerned that people there are going to forget about us.

Hire a hit man to get rid of the lengthy list of people I hate (not kill them, just send them far away, I’m not a monster.)

Hire someone to clean up my social media history because one day I’m going to need a real adult job (this article will probably be included)
Give some money to my friends and family as an appreciation and to help them but also so they’ll be forever indebted to me.

Endorse the presidential candidate most likely to win because duh direct ties to the White House.

Donate some money to charity because I’m not completely narcissistic and selfish. Stay tuned for a follow up article if I do win. May the odds be even in yourmy favor.