To my restaurant crew,
It’s weird to say that I think of you all as my family, but in some ways, each and everyone of you are. I spend more time with 90 percent of you than I do with my actual family. Working in a restaurant, full of drama and gossip, is such a fun job, but there are also many things to say sorry for. So, this is to all you beautiful little weirdos.
- I’m sorry for not vacuuming the back room after I demolished some nachos and got crumbs all over the floor.
- I’m sorry for calling in sick, causing you to close on a Monday for the third time in a row, even though it was my turn.
- I’m sorry for getting the request off you wanted, even though you asked for it first, and I’m also sorry that I bragged about getting off.
- I’m sorry for dropping the basket of french fries for table 41 when we were busy, causing you to lose 10 percent off your tip.
- I’m sorry (to the bartenders) for ringing in all those stupid drinks that I know none of you want to make because they require five different types of alcohol and chocolate syrup, or putting in 15 shots, which all happen to be different. Oh, and they have to be chilled.
- I’m sorry for forgetting to take the trash out after I was done, leaving it for you to drag to the dumpster at 1:55 a.m. in the freezing cold and in pitch darkness.
- I’m sorry (to the cooks) for typing a million modifications for you, just to take the meal to the table and have a customer say “I didn’t order that.”
- I’m sorry (to the hostess) when I get really busy and yell at you for seating in my section again, even though it was my turn.
- I’m sorry (to the bartenders) for my resting b***** face when I’m waiting for my drinks at the bar because you’re taking a couple extra seconds to make my drink.
- I’m sorry for coming in on my day off and drinking right in front of you, even though I wouldn’t be working anyway.
- I’m sorry for begging you to switch sections with me because I have something to do that night, and then giving you the cold shoulder all night because you said no.
- I'm also sorry for not taking your shift when you had something important to do, just because I didn't feel like working.
- I’m sorry for accidentally stealing that table from you when it was your turn.
- I’m sorry that we all have to roll massive amounts of silverware.
- I’m sorry (to the food runners) for telling you five different things about my order that I forgot to ring in and then getting mad when you forgot to bring it to my table.
- I’m sorry we’re all crazy and have to deal with each other, but I’m not sorry that we’re stuck with each other.
