Let me just start out by saying I'm a super complicated person. Most people don't get what goes through my head at the thought of going out. When your average Joe receives the "What're you doing tonight?" text they reply excitedly. But me, no. I'm torn. I'm totally cool with being outgoing, having fun, and getting a little (or extremely) sweaty on the dance floor, but I'm also totally good with sitting at home with a good show on Netflix that requires no human interaction whatsoever. Deciding between the two is not an easy task. I'm a turtle. When I'm in my shell, I'm in it for good; It's hard to get me back out. Thousands of thoughts rush through my head when considering going out, but I am here today to sum it up into 15 so that colleagues of mine can try to understand just how much this decision really stresses me out.
To set the scene, I am at home heating up leftover food while getting comfortable when my phone lights up with a text. It reads "COME OUT TONIGHT!"
The following ensues:
1. No. I can't go out tonight. I have stuff to do. I don't even know who will be there. What if I get left alone?
2. Well, I don't know. I'm young... I won't get these days back. I need to get out there and have fun. Let's make some memories!
3. Oh God. But (insert annoying person's name here) is going. And what if I run into (insert ex's name here)?
4. ... I do actually look cute today though. And I just bought that new outfit. It shouldn't go to waste. I'll just go.
5. But I have so much homework to do ... And I have work in the morning.
6. Oh well. They're just responsibilities. It's just my life. It's fine. I'm fine. Right?
7. What am I saying? I'm suppose to be adulting here. I can't go out. Not tonight.
8. But like.... I kind of just really wanna let my freak flag fly.
9. Oh God. They're texting me again. They're going to hate me if I back out.
10. Why is life so hard? What did I do to deserve this?
11. I really should just stay in with my dog.
12. I'm too lazy to have a social life, anyway.
13. I'm going to live a miserable life and die alone because I didn't have fun and make friends in college.
14. That's it. I'm forcing myself to be social tonight.
15. Let's just do this before I change my mind.
So, there you have it. Cut me some slack.
