Let’s face it. We all deal with a plethora of negative issues in our lives. Whether that be physical, mental or emotional situations, sometimes the stress and difficulties can be so overwhelming. There are times when we feel as if we have been dragged underwater and we just can’t seem to make our way back to the surface.
This article is not only for all of you readers, but I have also made this list as a reminder to myself. There have been so many times that I have simply wanted to be left alone to drown in my misery and feel sorry for myself, but that isn’t what life is about. If you happen to do this as well, you need to realize, as I have, that there is no point in being miserable all of the time. And trust me, I know that it is hard to find happiness in the midst of hard times. I have been there. Many times. But you need to find the strength to actively engage in activities that make you happy, because once you do, life starts to seem to be worth living again.
Here is a list of 14 ways that I have come up with that may allow you to find a little ray of sunshine in your life, and that will hopefully better your overall emotional well-being.
1. Let go of your insecurities.
You may be telling yourself right now that this is impossible. That your insecurities are far too complex and deeply embedded that you cannot just simply let go of them. Well, I know the struggle. I have fought a battle with my self-esteem for many years now, and I know how difficult it is to let those insecurities go. And the truth is, they won’t go away overnight. You have to actively work at telling yourself every day that you are beautiful just the way that you were made, and that there is no ideal form of beauty. Society and the media have given us a false perception of what it means to be beautiful, so alter your negative self-talk and start telling yourself that you don’t have to change anything about you in order to please others. This is one step towards being happier with your life, because suddenly, you become more pleased with yourself and you feel like you are enough, which all of you most certainly are.
2. Stop worrying about the future — live in the present .
I have the bad tendency of always worrying about what is gong to happen to me in the future. Will I get a job? Where will I live? Will I someday have a family of my own? And the list goes on. You know what worrying does for you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Worrying simply takes valuable time out of your day and causes more unnecessary negativity and stress in your life. Stop worrying about what will happen five years from now or even tomorrow. Enjoy the moments that you have today, because you will never get them back.
3. Don't let anyone else be in control of your happiness.
If you are letting someone else control how happy you feel, then you are making a very grave mistake. I am not accusing you, because I have let several people control my happiness throughout my life as well, and I know that it’s hard not to allow that to happen. However, if you are depending on that person for your happiness, then you will most likely not be happy a lot of the time. That person cannot be with you at all times and cannot care for your every need. You need to do that for yourself. If texting or hanging out with a certain person is the only thing that makes you happy, you need to seek out ways that you can find happiness on your own. Not only does this relieve pressure off of the other person, but it also allows you to have the freedom to control your own emotions instead of letting the other person’s actions do so. Certain people may make you happy, but they are not the source of your happiness.
4. Trust those around you.
If you have had to deal with issues that led you to distrust the people around you, then you need to try and fix that. What was done to you may have been awful, but the past is the past, and holding onto those grudges and that hurt will only make matters worse for you in the long run. Bringing that baggage into your other relationships will hinder them, and you really can’t form any kind of relationship without some sort of trust. I know that it’s hard, especially if your trust has been broken in the past, but holding onto those memories is not healthy and is not the way to go about life. Take a chance and just trust those who are close to you.
5. Find your purpose in life.
Everyone was put on this earth for some reason or another. If you feel like you don’t have any purpose here, then think again. Your life does have meaning, and finding that place where you belong and where you feel accepted is essential to living a happy life. If you go around thinking that you bring nothing to the table, then you are wrong. It may take time, but seek out what you are good at and what you can do to make the world a better place. You may just be helping one other person, but that still demonstrates how essential your life is.
6. Surround yourself with positive people.
You can’t be happy if you are constantly around negative people who complain and wallow all of the time. In order to change that, all you need to do is spend time with people like your friends and family who raise you up and who add positivity to your life. The more positivity, the happier you will be.
7. Have some alone time.
Time with others is essential when you are living an unhappy life, but occasional time alone (especially for my fellow introverts) is also important. Seeking your own happiness is pretty vital because if there is no one around to talk to, you have to learn to be alone with yourself and find what makes you happy. For me, this means taking a walk in nature or listening to music while sitting outside. Just find a place that makes you happy and go there in order to build on your own happiness.
8. Restrict time on technology and social media.
Our generation is constantly bombarded with all sorts of technological advances and social media sites, but honestly, I feel like these things really suck the happiness out of our lives. If we are constantly on our phones, for example, then we have no time for deep face-to-face conversations, which are essential for maintaining relationships. We invest way too much time analyzing written conversations or waiting for that text from that special someone to come in. Our happiness seems based off of how much constant attention we get from others, and this is unhealthy. If you base your happiness on texting a certain person, then you will likely be disappointed and/or upset if that person doesn’t respond right away or doesn’t respond in the way that you wanted. This is not a way to live. If we are always on social media, then we are constantly comparing our lives to the lives of others based on their posts, and this is also an unhealthy way to live. Most people just show the good side of their lives on social media, so if someone’s life seems perfect to you online and you start feeling bad about yourself, know that they have problems too. Taking time away from these things that I, personally, get so frustrated with (and I am a victim of both as well) will likely increase your happiness as you invest more of your happiness in those people and events immediately around you, and you aren’t comparing your life to that of others.
9. Don't compare yourself to others.
This brings me to my next point of not comparing yourself to others, whether that be your physical appearance or your life in general. This is a dangerous road on which to travel, and you will only be disappointed if you compare. Obviously, it is a hard thing to stop, as we (especially as girls) are always seeing the flaws in ourselves. However, if you simply take the time to love yourself for who you are and you build a strong sense of identity in yourself and no one else, then the comparisons to others will slowly dissipate. There is no point in comparing yourself to others. Everyone has problems, even if those problems are unseen, and wanting what others have will do no good; it will only fill your mind with negativity.
10. Take time to have fun.
Being able to having fun in life is key to living a happier life because you are obviously happy when you are having fun. Whatever activity is fun for you, just do it. You deserve to have fun. Life doesn’t have to be taken seriously all of the time.
11. Find hobbies to take up your free time.
In addition to having fun, find hobbies that are easily accessible and that you like to do in order to take up some of your free time. There are certain points in the day that I have nothing to do and whenever this happens, my mind automatically turns to thinking bad, negative thoughts. Instead of letting yourself sit around and think too much and wallow in the negativity, find ways to fill your time, such as reading or even knitting. Whatever activity can take your mind off of your existing problems, make that your go-to when you have time on your hands.
12. Exercise.
It is scientifically proven that exercise releases endorphins, therefore relieving stress. This proves that exercising will end up putting you in a better and happier mood. Not only this, but if you struggle with self-image issues, then exercising will help you to become healthier and will most likely enable you to lose weight and make you feel better about yourself.
13. Treat yourself.
As the famous Parks and Recreation quote goes, “Treat yo self!” On various occasions, take the time to splurge on something that makes you happy. Obviously you can’t go spending money left and right, especially if you are a broke college student like me, but it is occasionally acceptable to get something for yourself that you believe will increase your happiness. I am not saying that material things always bring happiness, but if getting that purse would make you feel better about yourself, then you get it, girl! No holding back!
14. Take time to laugh.
Laughing is a link to happiness. If you are happy, you are more likely to laugh, and vice versa. Laughing is also good for the soul, and brings a sense of peace in this hectic world that we live in. Taking time to laugh at yourself instead of getting down on yourself and also laughing with others tends to always put you in good spirits, and it is just refreshing.
So, as you can see, there are many ways that you can find your happiness. This list is mostly based off of my own experiences and how I have begun to find my individual happiness, so I can relate to all of them, but you may not be able to. I have had to deal with every one of the challenges listed, so I am not reprimanding anyone who suffers from any one of these. I am merely trying to give advice on how to potentially overcome those challenges.
Live happy, my friends. Life is too short to live in negativity.
