Look, I get it. You're only human. You're in a hurry. You have been looking forward to this phone call all week.
You forgot to add blank to your order, and just remembered after I swiped your card. You "didn't know" dipping sauce was extra, even though this is the eighth time I have seen you this week, Josh. So, I know you know it's extra.
The reason I am here today is to give you some insight from inside the window. You know, the one where I don't even have to open or speak, and you're shoving your money in my face (come on people, its a drive thru, not a strip club).
Pretend to appreciate me, I am handing you your food. Smile, say "good," when I ask how are you.
Just fake it so that I don't throw your sweet tea (that is on the screen as a Dr. Pepper, and I know you said Dr. Pepper because I have a headset too, but you just changed your mind).
1. Hang up the phone!
The drive thru is not the time, nor place, to be on the phone. I have to read your order back and I have to ask if you want ketchup. I know it seems small, but when you go to eat, and your chicken sandwich is actually a burger, or you have nothing to dip your fries in, I bet you'll regret not giving me the time of day.
Because if you're on the phone, I will not speak unless spoken to.
2. Have your app ready when paying.
It's not a hard concept. Just have the app ready. I am not your mother, or your brain. It is not my job to remember things for you. We remind you after ordering, but other than that, being a grown up, is up to you. Sorry, not sorry.
3. Don't tell me you're in a hurry.
If you're in a hurry, why are you here? I have no power in this process. I take your money, put it in the drawer, and hand you your food. That's it.
Don't be mad that your chicken is taking too long, when it takes a while to cook, and I am not even the one cooking it.
4. Please don't change the order at the window.
There is a process. There is a way we do things, and there is a reason you order at the beginning. Because we need time to prepare your food!
Don't come to the window, where we are supposed to hand you your order, and then change everything.
5. Have your money ready.
When I say have your money ready, I mean don't spend five years looking for it and I don't mean shove it in my face before I even look at you.
Use your head, and just be courteous. Be quick, but be nice.
6. Don't talk to me like I'm five.
Look, I know I am wearing an apron and a hat, but that doesn't make you "better" than me. Don't belittle me. I am working a job, just like I am sure you do.
I know our paychecks aren't the same, but I am still a human being. Don't treat me like a child because I shuffle food, and you shuffle papers.
7. Ask for a normal amount of ketchup.
I know, you "really like ketchup," but come on. How much do you need? Don't abuse it because it's free.
8. No, you can't "actually get a Dr. Pepper, instead of a sprite."
When you take that food or drink inside your vehicle, I am not supposed to take it back or give it to anyone else.
So, imagine the look on my face when someone takes a drink, drinks out of it (!) and then says "Oh, actually, can I get a Dr. Pepper instead?"
It doesn't seem like a big deal, but that does cost money. You have just made it unusable. You should really have to pay for a new drink. Do you purchase an airline ticket, get there and say, "actually, this isn't where I wanted to go?" No!
9. Smiling does not make it any less rude that you're on the phone.
I know you think that when you smile it means something nice, but to me it feels like you are the most inconsiderate person in the world. You think that I am doing you a favor, but really, you're doing yourself a huge injustice.
I know in a perfect world, all orders are right, and nothing ever goes wrong. However, that's not the case, and I can't confirm your order if you're on the phone.
10. Yelling at me will not get you your burger faster.
I really never understood shooting the messenger. It doesn't work. It's like pitching a fit when you don't get your way. Only, I am not the one keeping you from getting your way. So, It makes you look bad, and me feel bad. It's just not cool.
11. No, it isn't "OK" that you just took it upon yourself to drive to my window without ordering.
Like I said, we have a system. Don't change it. It's not your job, heck, it's not even my job. Just do what everyone else does, and wait half a second more for us to get to you.
We do have more to do than sit there and wait for someone to come up to the drive thru.
12. Go in the right lane, or go home.
At some places, there are multiple lanes. If you go in the wrong lane, then you mess up the order of the orders. This is a huge inconvenience to everyone involved, all because you couldn't listen.
What the heck? Just follow directions, and go to the right lane.
13. You have to ask for cheese.
At some places, cheese does not automatically come on the burgers. I know it's hard to read the menu, and find that out for yourself, but just do it.
14. Why do you have to have three separate orders for one car?
The drive thru is meant to be fast. I know it's not a big deal, this is just a pet peeve, but why can't you just give each other the money, come inside and order, or just hash it out later, like every other adult.
I know, it's lunchtime, and one person has left the office, but just have one order. It's a lot more simple.
In conclusion: be a decent human being the next time you go through the drive thru. It really isn't hard, and it will make someone's day. Pretend like, you are the person working. Gasp! I know. Barbaric.
Just treat them as you would wish to be treated! What a crazy concept?
