Long distance relationships, or LDR's, are probably the most difficult, deepest, rewarding relationships there are. You don't necessarily have to see someone every day to be madly in love with them. Regardless if your significant other is two hours away, or two states away, they're difficult. It's hard because unlike a non-LDR, you can't see them every day, spend holidays with their family, they can't visit your grandparents with you on a random day, they can't have lunch with you on your lunch break at work, or pick you up for a late ice cream date on your bad days. They're not physically there for you in the ways that you need sometimes, but they're there for you in the most important ways. Always. Again, LDR's are hard but SO worth it. Here's a list of common things you'll want to know before starting a LDR:
1. You’re going to be an emotional wreck. A lot.
You don’t understand what it’s like to miss the person you’re closest to until you get to see them once, maybe twice a year. Throughout your LDR journey, you’ll spend most of your time missing your significant other, the other time, you’ll be looking for things to keep you busy to give your mind a break from missing them. When you actually get to be with them physically, you never want to leave. And you’ll cry harder than you ever have in your life when you have to leave them. And every time you do have to leave them, the question of when you’ll get to be with them again is always in the back of your mind. And most of the time, you don’t know.
2. LDR’s have stronger communication than you’d think
Because your significant other is hours or states away, communication is the only tool you will have to get to know them. When you meet someone face to face, you experience all of the five senses. You can smell them, hear their voice, touch their hand, see their imperfections, and taste the air around them. When you meet someone online, you have none of these things. The only thing you can do is talk to them. This forces a person to really dive into and find out what fills their heart with joy, what their pet peeves are, how they enjoy spending their time, their dreams, etc. This forces a person to get to know someone, inside and out. Relationships that begin face to face have the physical aspect, which seems to distort and make the communication aspect less important, without even realizing it. Do you know the person you’re dating inside and out? Do you know why they love differently than you? Do you know why they don’t like to be in photos?
3. Being in a LDR is the hardest, most rewarding thing you’ll ever do (if it’s with the right person).
Sometimes life gets chaotic and it’s hard to do the little things, like ask your friend how her day went or to fill in someone who texts you about your midterm. But with LDR’s all you have is the little things. So, the relationship with your significant other that you’re constantly working on and improving is stronger than any other relationship. It’s deeper, which gives the relationship a bulletproof, unbreakable bond.
4. No one will take you seriously when you tell them your significant other is hours or states away.
People are used to their significant other or friends being down the road from them. And when they know yours is hours or states away, they assume the relationship is just for fun, only they don’t know what kind of “fun” there could be in that because what can you really do? They also assume that you don’t know who you’re even dating because they aren’t a “real” person.
5. Wi-Fi can be your worst enemy.
Those times when you’re on Instagram and the wifi crashes is super annoying, but you get over it and move onto something else. But if you’re on Skype with your significant other after a long day, and it’s the first time you can skype in a week, you contemplate throwing your savings to Southwest for a plane ticket, or contemplate throwing your laptop at the wall.
6. You tend to fight less with your significant.
Due to this strong communication you’ve established in your ldr, there won’t be a need for fighting. Usually, in all relationships, fighting begins due to a lack of communication. If the relationship focuses on that heavily, why would you fight over silly things?
7. Conversations with your significant other aren’t always lively.
Much of the relationship is focused on talking, and if you’re constantly texting because you miss him/her, eventually, there won’t be much to talk about. After the initial conversation, most of the time it’s simple messages that continuously repeat themselves when there isn’t much left to say, because you want to continue talking to that person.
8. People will give you weird looks when you tell them how you met your significant other.
“You met on Chatroulette?” “You met on Facebook?” “WHAT? On Skype?” are common responses you will come across when you tell the story about your relationship. But expect people to look at you funny when you tell them how you met. Most people will think you’re ridiculous, the relationship isn’t real, etc. You’ll also get asked frequently how you know your significant other is being faithful, or how you know they are who they say they are. You’ve been warned.
9. Sometimes you miss them so much that you feel physical pain.
When it’s been a long time since you’ve seen your significant other, you start to miss them so much that your heart physically hurts. A lot. And there’s not much you can do other than find a time to skype them or call them to relieve yourself.
10. Finally seeing them after months pass is the best feeling in the world.
Your heart will race from the time you get out of the car to go see them, until at least an hour after you’ve been with them. You won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face, and neither will he/she. You’ll get butterflies in your stomach that you won’t be able to contain. You’ll stutter due to a lack of processing what you want to say because you’re so excited. And you’ll receive the best ten minute hug of your life.
11. There are a ton of choices to be made.
At some point, you’ll be ready to move in together; which means you’ll have to decide between living where your significant other grew up, or living where you grew up. Living near your family, or theirs. Getting married in your home town, or theirs. Having your first child with your mom down the road, or a $500 flight away.
12. You’ll live in a twisted daydream almost constantly.
You’ll constantly daydream about the times you were physically together. The times when you could simply grab his/her hand, or just look to your left and see them standing next to you. You’ll remember the date nights you had where you actually went somewhere with them rather than sitting on your laptop for hours in your pjs. You’ll think about the memories you’ve made together, and all the memories you’ll make in the future.
13. You grow stronger as an individual.
Because your significant other isn’t always going to be there when you have a bad day, you’ll learn to cope with the situations on your own. You’ll learn more about yourself and how strong you actually are. You’ll begin to notice the things you need to work on in your own life in order to love them the way that they deserve to be loved.
14. As the relationship ages, you’ll realize that you’ve become stronger as a couple and individuals.
Everything in life will seem easier because of how difficult being in a LDR is. The longer the relationship continues, the stronger it will be. In turn, this will amplify the feeling that you can accomplish anything because of all of the obstacles you'll overcome in the relationship.
