Everything bad happens to everyone on The Office, and I would rather have every single one of those things happen to me than go to class. Here are a few examples:
1. Burn my foot on a George Foreman Grill.
2. Spill a hot pot of chili on myself and roll around in it.
3. Have a garbage bag with a bat in it put on my head.
5. Get run over by a car.
6. Have chafed nipples every time I run a 5K for rabies.
7. Fall in a koi pond.
8. Walk over/fall on hot coals.
9. Float on a pond in a blow-up sumo suit.
10. Be a cat that lives in my owner's desk drawer, only to be taken out and thrown into the ceiling.
11. Name my baby Astrid.
12. Get hurt doing the splits.
13. Spend the night at Schrute Farms.
14. Declare bankruptcy.
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