14 Things College Students Who Don't Drink Know To Be True | The Odyssey Online
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14 Things College Students Who Don't Drink Know To Be True

We're a rare breed.

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14 Things College Students Who Don't Drink Know To Be True
Felipe Benoit Photography

If you choose not to drink in college, you know that most of our friends and classmates find our lifestyle hard to believe. But for us, it's just another thing we don't do, even though we're often pressured to. If you choose not to drink in college, the 14 items on this list are probably pretty familiar to you. So drink on! Or, rather, don't.

1. Your 21st birthday is likely inconsequential and may even go uncelebrated...

Some people think you can't celebrate without alcohol, but a night in or a fun alternative to drinking can easily be arranged.

2. Because unlike most people, when you finally turn 21, there's no new milestone for you.

No, I didn't go celebrate by buying alcohol on my 21st birthday, because I wouldn't have wanted to drink any, and alcohol is expensive.

3. People believe the reason you don't drink is their business...

My reasons for doing things, or not doing things, has nothing to do with you. It's inappropriate to ask why I don't drink unless you're my doctor.

4. And even if you're open about why you don't drink, people will still try to change your mind.

You don't think anyone else has ever tried to convince me to drink? Hint: I won't drink unless I want to, and you shouldn't pressure me to if I've already decided not to for the night. It just makes you look controlling.

5. You never really want to "go out" because it really means "spend a lot of money getting drunk."

This one's basically self-explanatory. Even if I was going to drink, I'd probably stay in and do it, because it's cheaper.

6. So you save a lot of money, which can then be used for even better things than a night out drinking.

While you're digging for change on Sunday morning trying to find gas money and funds to buy yourself a hangover cure, I'll be over here, with my whole paycheck from Friday still intact.

7. And if you do go out, you usually end up being the designated driver or babysitter for your drunk friends.

If there's one thing you can count on me to do, it's to stay sober and take care of you when you're drunk. But if you expect me to choose to do it on a weekly basis, you're insane.

8. On rare occasion you do drink, people watch you, waiting for you to get completely out of control.


News flash: One drop of alcohol is not going to make me a party animal. I also have a low tolerance, so don't encourage me to chug or drink more unless you're gonna be the one taking care of me.

9. People tend not to trust or like you just because you don't consume alcohol.

This just straight up doesn't make sense to me. How can you not trust someone who is one of very few people around who's not intoxicated? If anything, I'm the only one you can trust.

10. And they think you don't know how to have fun because of your abstention.

You know what's awesome? I can still do everything you can while you're drunk, except be drunk. Don't write me off for my lack of social lubricant.

11. But the real fun is when you're the only one who remembers what happened last night...

Yep, that's right, I remember everything! Even if you don't know how you got home, you got here somehow.

12. And you're the only one who can tell them.

I might even throw in some fake stuff just to see if you believe it, but I'm your most reliable witness, so you can't blame me for having a little fun.

13. "Yes, my friend, you really did drunkenly [insert stupid, regrettable action here]."

And then, before you did anything else you wouldn't have done sober, I corralled you and took you home. You're welcome.

14. But thankfully, you never wake up still drunk or hungover, and that's the biggest blessing of all.

I always have the best and most complete stories, and I get to wake up tomorrow without any trace of last night, barring a little leftover makeup. Thus is the life of a non-drinker in college.

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