1. The god awful smell of his equipment.

"Did you just fart or is your bag in the trunk?"

2. You can always count on freezing to death at his games.

I just want to wear cute outfits to his game but, I mean, at least the temperature is always predictable?

3. The weird terminology.

I hate that I can explain to you exactly what a bardownski is....

4. His flow.

I'm partially just extremely jealous that he can grow his hair out way faster that I can. But also, the flow is just unnecessary except for when he lets me french braid it.

5. Always having to watch hockey instead of Netflix.

Unfortunately, I now know what channel the NHL Network is but I couldn't tell you what channel the local news is on.

6. There is no off season.

Sure, he's home for the summer and there aren't as many practices, but that doesn't stop him from lifting, running, and shooting pucks literally every single day. #gains

7. Trying to ask him a question about the game and getting laughed at for it being a dumb question.

One time I tried to ask why a team pulled their goalie and I literally got laughed at for 5 minutes. I still don't know the answer to my question.

8. It takes 75 years for him to change after games.

Catch me awkwardly refreshing every app on my phone as I wait for him to meet me in the lobby after his game.

9. The old guy that somehow sits behind you at every game and yells profanities the whole time.

Listen, Arte, no matter how times you yell at these boys to "f*$!#%*% pass the puck" they aren't going to listen to you. Please stop making my eardrums bleed.

10. Having to talk to "the boys" at the team gatherings you get dragged to.

I love team dinner at Applebee's.

11. Feeling slightly threatened by the relationship he has with his sticks.

I'm just saying, he spends more time with them than he does with me.

12. He always has 12 different sticks in the back of his car.

It's in case he has to have a quick emergency game with his boys in the middle of July, I guess...

13. Ice skating dates are more embarrassing than they are cute.

Like, why is he so much better than I am? Why is he practically just dragging me across the ice?

14. Always fearing that he'll come home with one less tooth.

I just really don't want to date a hillbilly.