Last year, my current roommate and I gave up caffeine for Lent. It would not have been so difficult if I had not become addicted to coffee before Lent started. Here are my 14 Steps to get rid of your coffee addiction.
1. Become addicted to coffee
This shouldn't take very long. Drink it every day for a week, and you'll pretty much be hooked.
2. Cry
You start to run out of money (In PLU's case, Dining Dollars), so you start to prioritize coffee over food.That's not healthy.
3. Friends will stage an intervention
They will realize you have a problem before you realize it yourself. They will try to understand you and try to help you, but it won't work.
4. Denial
You don't have a problem! Your friends are crazy. They just don't understand that coffee brings you happiness and energy to start each and every day with a smile on your face.
5. Acknowledge that you have a problem
OK. Maybe they were right. Maybe you do drink too much coffee. But spending over 50% of my dining dollar budget on coffee isn't that bad, right?6. Cry
Realize it is that bad.7. Dedicate yourself to limiting your coffee intake
One or two coffees a week... no more. Probably. It's like your method of watching Netflix.. just ONE episode tonight...8. Fail
You just... you had a rough week. A couple late nights. You really needed that coffee.
9. Quit caffeine all together
It's Lent, the season to live a better life and try new things. You decide to give up caffeine. It works for a while...10. Cry
You hit the mid-lent crisis of caffeine withdrawals, and can't make it down the hallway to your room before collapsing in tears in the middle of the doorway to your hall.
11. Fail
It's unrealistic to give up coffee, not to mention all caffeine! You never even got the chance to say goodbye!
12. Realize coffee is just too good to give up
13. Yell at your friends when they say you have a problem. They're the ones with the problem.
They just don't understand the power of coffee.14. Enjoy your dang coffee!
Maybe invite your non-believing friends to come with you a few times... or maybe every day for a week. Refer them to step 1, and ENJOY YOUR DANG COFFEE. YOU EARNED IT!
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