Jupiter Farms: a suburb of a beach town. So, yes, I said before that I live in Jupiter, Fla., and -- according to my mail (see #5) -- I do! But, if we're being super specific, I live just outside of Jupiter. Instead of being eight minutes from the beach, I'm ten minutes from it. Tragic! But it is far enough away for teachers at my high school to ask how life was “out west." For those of you still curious, here's “western" life!

1. You recognize everyone you see at the grocery store -- every time you go. My favorite Publix (shout-out to Florida) cashier growing up still asks my mom how I'm doing in school and when I'm coming home from break. It's not uncommon to stop in the aisles and have multiple, half hour conversations about life. When you're in the mood to socialize, this is a blessing! When you're not, you better stay home and eat cereal for dinner.

2. You drive through the whole length of town in the time it takes for Top 40 radio to replay a song from earlier that day. We all know how often the same five songs are played on the radio. Yup, my town is that small.

3. You can count on one hand how many stoplights there are within the town limits. It really works. Try it! Yup, I told you. Now, see if you can meet someone with fewer stoplights in their town than yours.

4. You know the cops by name. Because you know everybody in the town. Not because you're a delinquent! Don't make assumptions, now.

5. Your mail has the name of the larger town nearby rather than your own. You will never see mail addressed to Jupiter Farms, but boy, there seems to be a ton of Jupiter mail coming into town! At least we have our own zip code.

6. Everyone knows everything that is going on in your life -- always. “I heard Suzie's boy just graduated college." “Dave's little girl is getting married next Saturday!" “Pam told me that John got a promotion at work." This is all too typical. And rarely are last names necessary to know exactly about whom you are talking. Unfortunately, it's not always positive knowledge. Nevertheless, small towns are a gossip's haven.

7. You can never find a map specific enough to allow you to point out where you live. Remember that game in school when you'd go up to the map and point to where you lived? Well, I could never find my town because no cartographer is going to indicate the location of "The Middle of Nowhere, USA." Needless to say, that was not one of my favorite games in school.

8. No one from out of town recognizes the name of your town. Fast-forward to college: “Hey, I'm from New York City. Where are you from? Wait, where is that? Huh, never heard of it." Shocker there! Here's my typical response to anybody who asks where Jupiter Farms is (fellow Jupiter Farmers: feel free to steal this and use it in a sticky spot): About an hour and a half north of Miami, three hours south of Orlando, on the east coast. You've got to use those large cities to your advantage!

9. More than likely, you have a large yard, and with that comes many outdoor childhood traditions. I cherish my yard like it is the site of buried treasure. When I was younger, my little sister and I would go into the back yard and pick citrus from our fruit trees and pick these weeds that looked like wheat and set up a playhouse. The structure was a canopy made by the vines and trees in the back. Other days, we would bring one of our dogs to the back and swing with her on vines in the back corner of our yard. You can't do this in a big city.

10. The phrase "drive into town" has become part of your local dialect. You drive into town to buy decent groceries. You drive into town to get your car fixed (oh, the irony). You drive into town to find the nearest Walmart, Walgreens or Home Depot. You better get your driver's license before I did. That's all I'm saying.

11. "City folk just don't get it" is also part of your dialect. I reiterate: having to “drive into town," large yards, knowing everybody you see, etc. Let's see how many San Franciscans can agree with all that.

12. There are hidden, historic gems in your town. Little towns like these are always a historian's dream -- nuggets of history undiscovered by most. For example, in my town, there is the hallowed Riverbend Battlefield Park. It is the site of the beginning of the infamous Trail of Tears and a primary battlefield of the Second Seminole War. History, man. It's cool stuff.

13. You may not admit, but cities fascinate you. The bright lights and big signs and millions of people -- everything is so fast-paced and loud and exhilarating! But you cannot help but wonder: what do you mean I can't lie in the grass outside and look at the stars? What do you mean there is no grass outside? And how does one sleep without cicadas calling each other outside your window? How do you sleep through car horns and sirens? Thank you, New Haven!

14. No matter where you go, deep down you will always appreciate small town charm. There is something to be said for town parades on holidays, and school spirit for the teeny elementary school we all attended, and bake sales through the local church. There is something to be said for being able to turn to any of your neighbors for solace during tough times, and being able to do the same for them. There is something to be said for the ability to bike to a friend's house on the weekend, and wave at drivers as you pass them. As much as I hated my home before I knew any better, I would never trade Jupiter Farms for the world.