Disclaimer: my views do not represent the views of my past, present or future employers or college-affiliations.
As I approach the close of my undergraduate career, I’ve realized more and more that college is just one extensive AND expensive bundle of irony.
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And here’s why:
1. “We Offer Tons of Financial Aid,” is What Admissions Told You When You Applied
Unless you’re a full-scholar athlete, considered “really” diverse for your college, completely broke or incredibly intelligent, then grants, scholarships and any other free-money coming your way is probably slim to none.
OR
2. Left-Over Meal Plans are Non-Refundable
Speaking of funds, how about taking more of yours? The meal-plan deal is basically just a “gotcha!” business method. But really, if students were first, wouldn’t meal-plans be refundable? WHY do they have to expire each semester?
3. Do the Readings, Buy the Textbooks!
Many professors have designated certain textbooks for their classes. Those textbooks, however, come at a high cost (shocker)! In fact, College Board estimates that students budget an average of $1,200 a year on textbooks and supplies. However, from personal experience, I have only needed books for 13 credits (four classes) out of my whole 90-credit college career in order to pass classes, thus far. In most of my classes, books never actually get opened because the exams focus on lecture content, not "book" content.
And no, I am not skipping out on work as a result of not utilizing any of the textbooks; I have an exceptionally high GPA. I’m just being cost-conservative.
Also—hello, the internet probably has it. There are numerous ways to share and find educational information. Can’t educational institutions make content free and open to all? I’d rather have a PDF for free than a nicely-covered book for $200.
4. College Gear is Ridiculously Expensive at the Bookstore
For the average price students pay, you think at least a free sweatshirt or bumper sticker would be automatically included in the tuition price. But nope, that’s what the over-priced gear is for at the campus bookstore.
5. Asking for Donations for the Alumni Fund
You’ve probably received one or two emails/calls asking you to donate to your school’s alumni fund. I just spent over $100,000 on your business, what makes you think I have spare cash? In fact, what makes you think I want to donate to an alumni fund if I am not even an alumnus yet?
6. Major Cutbacks to Campus Programs, But…
Administrators and board members all managed to rack-up some enormous raise for the year, while they tout, annually, how your institute is in a financial “deficit.”
7. Being Sent Tutorials Instead of Actually Being Taught
This one kills me. I’ve sat in numerous classes where I am expected to be able to navigate professional and complex software, such as Adobe Photoshop/In-design/Audition or WordPress. The professor goes over the basics:
- Opening the application
- Minimizing the window
- Zooming in/out
- How to save a file
- Logging in (if applicable)
Right. I said “basics” for a reason. Then, when it comes to the complexity of the software, they send FREE YouTube tutorials or hand out stock “how-to’s” on how to get the job done.
Put that situation into perspective: If I were to pay and bring my shirt to get dry-cleaned and have a stain removed, then have to remove the stain myself because the dry cleaners couldn’t do it, I’d be wasting my money, right? Well, essentially that’s the same as paying to go to a school and learn, but then just receive free tutorials online and learn how to do something on your own anyways.
8. Professors Who Preach But Don’t Practice
“Grammer maters”, said evry lib. Arts professsor Evr. Who whrites eMails w/ tpyos like thiss.
You expect me to have perfect grammar and a 100-percent typo-free paper, when you don’t even have the decency to perfect your own error-ridden emails and hand-outs. Ugh, the little things.
9. The Value (and Stress) Behind a GPA
Any college student, past or present, knows how important a GPA can (potentially) be. You put hours into that paper or that final exam—and you did your best to earn a GPA that’s respectable. After all, a good GPA matters, right? Well, actually, read this:
“The good news is that for most managers or companies, GPA is not a deal- killer,” wrote USA Today’s Robin Reshawn.
That’s not to say don’t try in your classes, but the irony of it all is that most employers are not looking at GPA, but rather experience and personality.
10. "You Learn More On the Job"
Now this my friends completely undermines the whole rationale behind college: learning! If approximately 75 percent of my professors tell me I am going to learn more on the job—which, in theory, I am being paid for-- then why I am going to school—to which I am paying for-- to learn in the first place?
If I can get paid to learn, why doesn’t society choose that first? Just a philosophical thought for you.
11. Get an Internship Your Senior Year, “They’re Invaluable”
If internships are SO valued by those in academia, then why, at the majority of schools, are they are encouraged so late in a student’s career? The earlier you get a professional experience, the better, no?
So, yes, internships are valuable, but don’t save something vitally-important to your career for senior year if you don’t have to. Go intern, shadow, network or even tour a possible future workplace as soon as you think it’s a possible workplace!
12. Graduation is the Most Un-Eventful Event to Honor Your Hard Work
Whoa, your name is called in front of 20,000 people as you sit and listen to pretty average commencement speeches from higher-ups. Four years of hard work and that’s all you get, five seconds of air-time and a certificate? Nifty.
13. Speaking of Certificate…
The degree you worked so hard for gets sent in the mail without a nice frame. The least you could do is get it sent in a plastic sheet protectorfrom Staples.
14. Ending Up in A Different Field
According to a survey from CareerBuilder, 47-percent of college graduates do not find their first job in their field. Oh, how useful that degree is.
But regardless of the irony of any of these concepts, it all comes with the college experience-- something that you can never give back or un-do!
Ahhh... don't you just "love college?"
