It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Breakups are the worsts, no matter who ended it or how it was ended. They are one of the most painful things to experience in life. I myself just recently went through a terrible, no good, very bad breakup, and I remember asking God to give me a sign or some glimmer of hope that there was a light at the end of this dark tunnel I was going through.
Although God didn't give me a clear cut answer to my problems at the time, he did give me little things that gave me hope and reassurance that I was going to be okay again one day.
So, here are 13 things that helped me survive my breakup.
1. Cry it out.
Preventing yourself from feeling the emotions that you have every right to feel only makes the process of moving on from that person last even longer. When you're missing them or their presence, put on your sad breakup playlist, lay on your floor and just cry. I'm not sure what it is about crying but seriously some of the saddest moments in my breakup were solved by having a good 10-minute crying session.
2. Read Rupi Kaur's "Milk and Honey."
This poetry collection helped me survive my breakup in more ways than I can explain. It was like she knew my situation personally and wrote every word so perfectly to describe every emotion I was feeling during that time.
3. Dance it out.
If Grey's Anatomy has taught me anything, it is that dancing it out can solve all of life's problems, even if it is for five minutes. Turn on some Beyoncé and dance like no one is watching.
4. Give yourself only two weeks to mope.
I'm not saying you can't be sad (because you will be for a while), but only allow yourself two weeks to be mopey and not get out bed. After that, call up your girls and go out--despite how you feel. I promise going out will make you feel ten times better than being alone all night.
5. Surround yourself with friends.
As Carrie Bradshaw once said, "No matter who broke your heart or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." My friends were my saving graces throughout my breakup, and I'm not sure I would have been able to survive it without their help and love. You need your friends now more than ever and if they're true friends they will be that shoulder for you to cry on when you need it the most.
6. Buy every Taylor Swift album that exists and put them on repeat.
Ugh, my girl T-Swift has been there through it all. After every boy, every relationship, and every breakup, she wrote a song that seemed to fit so perfectly into whatever was going on in my life. I highly suggest "All Too Well" and "Cold As You"; those really hit ya in your feels.
7. Don't call or text him.
This one is a hard one, even I struggled with this for a long time. I would find the tiniest reasons to be able to text him until, one day, I realized I was never going to move on from him unless I cut all ties with him. Seeing him is only going to make your heart hurt and long for him more, so do yourself (and your heart) a favor and avoid contact with him at all costs.
8. Stalk his social media.
Before you exit out of this and be like "This chick is crazy," hear me out. Don't literally stalk him in a creepy way, but, if you have the urge to check-up on his Twitter, go for it. This helped me realize that my ex really didn't care whenever we broke up. It honestly helped me move on because I got a reality check of my situation and his true feelings.
9. Start a new Netflix series.
Whenever my ex and I broke up, I was already a few seasons deep into "One Tree Hill" (A.K.A. the best show ever), but I couldn't bring myself to watch it because it was a show that he and I had watched together. So, I needed a fix to my Netflix addiction that wouldn't remind me of him. That's when I found "New Girl". YOU GUYS. This is seriously the best show to watch if you're newly single and need to get your mind off things.
10. Invest in yourself.
Some of the biggest mistakes we tend to make when we are in relationships involve losing who we are in the process of loving someone else. Start doing things for you. Find out what makes YOU happy and start doing those things.
11. Create a bomb-ass breakup playlist.
12. Write letters you'll never send. (Or maybe send if you're ballsy like that...)
This goes back to the whole "no contact rule." Instead of sending them a text about all the reasons you hate them or love them, write them letters about how you felt for them during that time. What you decide to do with those letters next is your choice. (My suggestion is just to hide them. It's such a rewarding feeling to look back on them 6 months later and see how much you've grown.)
13. Don't rebound to other people UNTIL YOU'RE READY.
This isn't really a way to get over someone; it's just more of a tip from me to you. Do not go looking for love in all the wrong places just because you loved and lost.
One of my biggest regrets and mistakes I made after my heart was newly broken was I looked for the love I had for someone else in other people. Weekend after weekend I would find some new boys lips to kiss or bed to crawl into to ease the pain I was feeling in my heart.
Pinky promise you, it is only a temporary fix. I only made my pain worse by thinking these boys could fill that void in my heart that really only I could ever fix with time. If getting under someone to get over someone is really your fix then, by all means, go for it girl.
If you're anything like me, don't do this. I wanted to be that girl so badly that I was able to do that and then wake up the next day and not remember his name. In reality, I wasn't that girl nor will my heart ever allow me to be that girl. So, do yourself and your heart a favor and just let it be. There will come a day when he is not all you think about, and your days are not consumed with thoughts and flashbacks of him. There is more to life than him, despite how you may feel.
Hang in there love.
xo.
