Whether you live an hour from each other, few hours, or 6000 miles across the globe -- distance is always hard for a relationship. No relationship is perfect. I have found that the following helps to keep a LDR (long distance relationship) going strong and lasting longer than what others believe. These can help any relationship.
1. Communication is key in ANY relationship
I am sure you are aware that you have to communicate to make things work. It is even more important when you are at a distance. If you're upset--you have to say something as soon as you can. You won't necessarily see the other person the next day for them to read your body language. Most of your relationship is over the internet and phone.
2. Make plans!
It doesn't have to be a weekly thing, but depending on your distance, aim for once a month. It doesn't matter if you make plans for a FaceTime movie date, or to actually meet in person. Always have something planned. It will keep you motivated to keep going and you can both countdown to these dates and send the other cheesy reminders. These dates will be the basis of your relationship--whether they are tomorrow or a year from now. Keep counting down.
3. Write letters
It may seem cheesy and "old school" but receiving a letter in the mail from your significant other is one of the best feelings in the world. Writing letters can be fun too! You let them know how much you love them and cheesy things like that. They can cherish it longer than they can cherish a text message or phone call. Keep all those letters in a box or drawer and when you are having a bad day, pull them out and read them. I guarantee they will make you feel better.
4. Random gestures of endearment
Send her flowers, buy him his favorite band's new CD, text the other quotes about how it gets easier-- the cheesier the better! It could be as simple as an 'I love you' or creative as writing a song. The sky is the limit and you don't always have to spend money for your partner. If you are creative, making things or writing things is always a valid idea.
5. Spontaneous Dates
This isn't always a valid option, but it doesn't have to be in person. Video chatting works where ever you have internet access. Watch a movie together, have dinner together, and it can all be over the internet. This isn't ideal, but it is a great idea. For those that live only a few hours away from each other, spontaneous dates are great. Just one Tuesday, you both decide you are free on Thursday - meet half way, one drives the full distance, every place has cutesy things to do - walking a riverfront, sitting in a park for hours, picnics! Again - the sky is the limit!
6. FaceTime, Skype, and phone calls are great.
You may not be able to see each other face to face everyday, but screen to screen works too! Texting isn't ideal to keep any relationship going. However, if you can FaceTime or have a phone call as much as often, you can make things easier. Hearing the others voice may not always be the same through a phone or computer, but this is always a better option over texting. These phone calls and video calls are great when you just miss them.
7. Music
Just a simple word can bring people together. Make playlists for the other to listen to. Send each other song lyrics that remind you of your relationship. Music has a funny way of bringing people together, whether they are sitting right next to each other or on computer screens hundreds of miles away. Music is universal. If a song speaks to you about your relationship, let your partner know! They may feel the same way you do about it. Bonding over music is a great way to bond!
8. Don't take your time together for granted
Your time is limited, don't sit on your phone playing games or talking with other people. Give your partner your full attention and savor each moment. Make each moment a memory to last forever. Don't fight in your time together without resolving it before you two part ways again. Don't let opportunities to share your love go to waste. Don't let time with your partner go to waste. Time is limited and every moment counts.
9. Take pictures
"We keep this love in a photograph," sang Ed Sheeran. These song lyrics speak to me personally. I love to keep memories in photographs and hang them around my room or put them into a scrapbook. Pictures can hold memories from years ago or yesterday. Look at these pictures when the distance gets rough. Remember how you felt in the moment that you took the picture, remember the things you did that day and always remember the memories the two of you shared on the day that picture was taken. As simple as a picture an be, it can be one way for a memory to last forever.
10. Be cheesy
Make a mix tape, leave a voicemail when they are at work, anything! Little things that show you care and love them. If you know they are having a rough day, call them to remind them that you love them. Send flowers, write a letter, the cheesier the better. It may seem like such a small gesture, but it could mean the world to them. Little gestures are the things that a lot of people hold on to forever.
11. Don't go to bed angry or upset
This is key. Remember, if you have a fight, do not go to bed angry or upset! You can't see each other the next day to hug and kiss and make up. You have to communicate and let your partner know how you feel. If you are angry, work it out while you can. If you go to bed angry, it will pull the relationship apart. Any relationship, even without distance; anger eats at relationships. Don't let anger be the end of your relationship. Communicate and work out arguments so every night you can go to bed happy.
12. Don't let other people get to you
A lot of people out there believe that LDRs are horrible and will never last. Don't let these people get to you. They are everywhere. They can be your family, your friends, or your co-workers. You have to know that love will find a way and you will make it. If you truly love each other, the distance and what others say about the distance will not get to you. You can't let it if you love your partner whole-heartedly.
13. Be patient
You won't be free at the same times that they are free all the time. You both have lives and you can't expect your partner to drop everything because you are free. They have friends, and so do you. You may be in different time zones - one will need sleep at a different time that the other does. LDRs are hard, but if you are patient and understanding to the other, you can make it. Understand that the other person has work, friends, plans, etc. and so do you. You wouldn't want them to expect you to drop everything because they are free and you aren't. Make a specific time at least once a week that you both are free to call or video chat. You can make it work.
