USC is a dynasty. We're the top private employer in Los Angeles, we're the backdrop for every State Farm commercial, our students are taught by James Franco, and Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine funded a state-of-the-art recording academy on campus. And have you seen the new dance school? It's Juilliard 2.0.
Oh, and we're Rose Bowl champs. Need I go on?
While there are plenty of things Trojans spend their time doing -- like winning gold medals at every Summer Olympics since 1912, getting nominated for an Oscar every year since the Academy Awards' inception in 1929, or simply laying out in the quad when that LA weather warrants a study break to work on our tans -- here are 13 things we'd rather do than attend UCLA.
1. Drive a friend to LAX
During rush hour. Without a FasTrak. For your friend who doesn't do Venmo.2. Spend $15 on a salad at Seeds
Because it’s not really a Southwest Salad without adding avocado, swapping the chicken for tofu, and taking out the beans and corn. Oh, and lite dressing on the side, please.
3. Take Friday 8 am classes
All four years of college. That's 8 semesters. That's 128 Fridays. And that's oh so telling.4. Stand in an absurdly long line at TroGro
We'll spend all the days in line, as long as we don't have to do it wearing baby blue and pastel yellow.
5. Talk to civil rights activists near Campus Center
Not that civil rights aren’t v important, but me getting to a class I’m paying $12k for is also v important.6. Eat at EVK forever
Now that’s sacrifice.7. Miss every GAMEDAY to study
Because even with your nose in the books, being a Trojan is still more fun.8. Find an open cardio machine at Lyon during "peak hours"
You think I can workout without an elliptical and a TV? Puhlease.9. Live in South Central Los Angeles
Oh, wait… we already do that.10. Wait for the UV to be finished
We're dying with anticipation, but you'll be dying of jealousy once you see our humble little "village." #Fall2017
11. Attend Cal State LA
We hear it's the #1 ranked public university in Los Angeles...
12. Listen to a Bruin talk about how much they love UCLA
We’d rather listen to you talk than actually have to be you13. Pay $70k/year in Trojan Tuition
Because the Trojan Family is worth it every single penny. Right, Mom and Dad?#FightOn