Last Labor Day I swore to myself that I was done cleaning toilets and trying to convince three-year-olds to get into an outdoor pool when it's only 60 degrees out for swim lessons every day, but Memorial Day rolled around and suddenly there I was in the lifeguard chair yet again yelling at kids to walk. Working at a pool might not be the most glamorous job, but it's been five years and I still find myself coming back every summer to finesse more free popsicles, so it obviously has its perks as well. Through these 13 ups and downs, there's just something you can't not like about working at a pool.
1. "Walk" is the only word in your vocabulary
Because no matter how many times you yell at the kids to stop running, they never do. Even when they fall on the pool deck and you think they've learned their lesson.
2. You're used to hearing "Wow, your tan lines are really bad."
Say goodbye to wearing strapless rompers or dresses for the next few months after pool season, because even when you get rid of the ungodly one-piece lifeguard suit, you can't seem to get rid of those awful tan lines.
3. Rainy days can be the worst days, but also the best
You might have to sit outside in the rain for that one kid who insists on swimming in the rain or you might get your hours cut short, but when else do you get the chance to attach random objects to the ceiling fan in the office or ride your bike off the diving boards?
4. There's no shortage of popsicles in your summer diet
The second you see a bag of popsicles in the employee freezer you know all of them will be gone within the next 24 hours.
5. And no shortage of ice cream either
Sometimes you just have to treat yourself to a McDonald's ice cream cone after a 90-degree day at the pool. Or Graeter's. Or Dairy Queen. Or Whit's.
6. You have a love/hate relationship with the kids who go to the pool
They might splash you when you specifically told them not to and refuse to walk no matter how many times you blow your whistle at them, but at the end of the day you realize you're actually grateful for their company when you're bored.
7. You've had a tan line from your sunglasses at least once
And after being told you look like a raccoon, you hopefully learned from your mistake and applied sunscreen the next time.
8. And you've experienced the painful scalp sunburn at least once per summer
You thought sunburns were bad before, now imagine it on your scalp and spontaneously peeling every time you move your head. Not ideal.
9. There's nothing you hate more than cleaning bathrooms
After that one shift where the toilets were so clogged that even the managers wouldn't step into the bathroom, you can't help but dread every closing shift and that familiar scent of Wintergreen cleaner.
10. Besides those days it's 60 degrees outside and people decide it's the perfect weather to swim
Those days it's impossible to survive without a sweatshirt, a backup sweatshirt, and a sleeping bag to keep you warm while you guard that one kid who won't get out of the pool no matter how cold you are.
11. Swimming after hours is the one perk you can brag about
It's definitely colder swimming after hours, but this is the one thing you can brag about to the kids at the pool who won't stop breaking the rules no matter how many times you tell them to stop.
12. Your work friends are your best friends
And there's no one you'd rather guard day camp days, get late night McDonald's and plunge toilets with for the three months of summer.
13. No matter how much you hate those eight-hour shifts, you wouldn't wanna spend your summers anywhere else
No matter how many 12-8 shifts you work or how many times you lose your voice yelling "Walk!" at the kids from the day camps, you somehow still find yourself back in the lifeguard chair the next Memorial Day weekend to do it all over again.
