Barista: someone who makes and serves coffee. I am not just a barista, I am a life saver. I mean think about it - I make that perfect cup of coffee that gets your day started. I am making that cup o' joe that simply, supplies you with your caffeine fix. I am handing you a cup filled with happiness. I am a life saver.
Working as a barista is simply, interesting. We get the opportunity to meet tons of new people and build a network for ourselves. Not every single customer that comes through the doors is a frequent one. Sometimes, they are new and others, they are simply "coffee shop stupid." You might be thinking - "what is coffee shop stupid?" Well, to be quite honest, I just made it up. However, it makes complete and total sense. There are some customers that ask certain questions that make us baristas stand there absolutely speechless and with everything in us, we say nothing. In our heads, however, we are completely judging you.
Here is a list of 14 things that have completely mind boggled me while working in a coffee shop:
1. What is steamed milk?
There is no other way to explain this other than, hot milk. It's. Hot. Milk.
2. Can I have an iced coffee... but with ice.
Honey, it is called iced coffee. But, yes, yes you can.
3. You're not a barista. You are an order taker.
So you are telling me that someone who makes that cup of coffee that I just handed you is only an order taker? You trippin'.
4. You don't have a bathroom door.
Oh we don't? Well damn I guess someone must of took it off the tracks then. If you opened your eyes you would see the handle and if you use your hand to pull it you will see the door slides. We are in modern day America people. Yes, yes we have a bathroom door.
5. Does a Mocha Latte have mocha in it?
As the name clearly states "mocha latte" does have mocha in it.
6. Can I have a tall coffee?
We are not Starbucks. And by the look on your face you meant large, but since you thought that you would be slick with the names and drop "tall," when you didn't actually mean small, you just need to go. Just go.
7. Do I need to put sugar in my caramel swirl?
A caramel swirl is simply, a caramel frappuccino. If you need sugar in it, then you should never come back again. Just buy ice cream. Seriously.
8. Can I have a "kia protein sport"
-It is chia (chee-ugh). Not chai nor kia. It is not that hard.
9. I'll have just a small coffee...(20 seconds later) small caramel latte.
A small coffee and a small caramel latte are not the same thing.
10. Does espresso have coffee in it?
Are you okay? You on drugs?
11. Can I have a medium latte. (5 minutes later after you already finished making their drink) Oh... I wanted decaf!
WTF are you serious. I already made your drink and if you really needed decaf then you would have clearly said it first.
12. Is espresso strong?
Are you really asking me this?!
13. Can you make cold brew hot?
-The name is cold brew. If you would like hot coffee then simply, get hot coffee.
