Finding out that you're going to have a baby after your first year of college is scary. However, thanks to my wonderful husband and friends' support, I can finally say, "been there, done that" to having earned a degree as a mommy, and I've noticed some things along the way about adding babies to college.
1. There will be people on campus who won't even notice you're pregnant until you're the size of a whale.
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Or possibly after you're physically holding a baby. However, once they notice it will become their identifier for you. They won't really know how to approach it, but they will feel the need to talk about it.
2. You will receive a lot of unsolicited advice.
It's no secret that all new mothers are subject to a barrage of information and tips when they're starting out. Something unique to moms in college is the crowd giving the advice. Instead of other moms it's college advisors who want you to take a semester off or distant acquaintances who swear by the cry it out method because they "practically raised" their siblings. Just chant to yourself "they mean well, they mean well, they mean..."
3. Some of the advice will come from older mothers.
It's true that wisdom comes with age, and you'll probably actually appreciate some of the advice you get from seasoned mothers. However, you are not obligated to thank the random woman at Wal-Mart who sympathetically calls out "Oh, Honey, bless your heart. You just don't know any better" and comes over to fix your baby's slipping sock lest they freeze to death. Or the one who warns you that your baby sling will suffocate your child. Or- I'll just stop there. I will never understand why these women do what they do.
4. EVERYONE will care about your baby.
He/she will be showered with gifts and affection before they're even born. Applications for favorite honorary aunt/uncle will start flowing in and you will hear cries of "I'll babysit for free! Anytime you need!"
5. They won't babysit for free anytime you need.
Don't get me wrong, when you really need someone to be there for you, your friends will step up. However, date nights and fun things tend to take a backseat when you use up all of your babysitter tokens for real commitments. It's okay though, you'll find yourself wanting to hang out with your super cool kid instead of getting a sitter anyway.
6. You will probably still be active on campus.
When you first start nesting and preparing and generally mom-ing, you'll think you're over it all, that you're an adult now, you don't need silly organizations and clubs to validate yourself. If that's you, that's cool. Remember though, you're still a college student, and you're entitled to enjoy it.
7. Classes will get harder, but the motivation to succeed will be much greater.
My grades took an upward spike after I had my son. However, they were a lot harder to earn. Take classes which are already increasing in difficulty due to classification and pile on factors like nightly play rehearsals (required of my major), organization commitments, and student work and you've got a recipe for disaster. But looking at that sweet baby's face and coming home to a sleeping angel on your most frustrating nights really just makes you want to do well for your child, even if not for yourself.
8. Some nights after class you will not come home to a sleeping angel.
Your baby or toddler may be up screaming or, worse, bouncing around the house on a sugar high (cue side eye to Dad). It is what it is. Roll with the punches and play a game. Seriously. I started jogging with my 2-year-old son after dinner. Desperation makes you do crazy things. You'll find your own solutions for crazy nights.
9. You will have a lot less desire to dress up for class.
Athleisure lives at it's fullest during motherhood. During your pregnancy you might wear your husbands pajama pants for a week. It's okay. You're friends can do the dressing up for a while.
10. There will be people who don't believe you can finish college as a mother.
You wouldn't think this one was true, but people really come out of the woodwork when you get pregnant early. They might encourage you to drop out and join the workforce or even just blatantly tell you that you can't do it. Don't listen to them. You started college for a reason, never forget it.
11. There will be more people who believe in you.
These people will really get you through the worst days, if not the motivation to prove the latter wrong.
12. Unless you're parents are still supporting you, you're probably going to be broke.
That's okay. News flash: college students are all broke. The only difference is that people are a lot more judge-y when you throw a baby in the mix.
13. You're probably going to lose some friends.
This one isn't completely true. They will swear up and down that they're gonna hang out soon, but the baby scene just isn't for some people. That's okay, you'll still see them in class. They just might be too busy talking about parties or other such stuff that you don't really do a lot anymore.
13. You really can do it.
It's hard, I'll admit. There were a LOT of times I wanted to give up and do something easier, but it was more important to me to prove to my child that no dream is too unrealistic or un-achievable. Just remember that passion that lit your fire in the beginning and made you decide to choose college and I'm sure you'll be fine.
