Suicidal ideation is scary, powerful, and consuming. Even passive thoughts about suicide need to be met with understanding and empathy. Whether someone you know has active, crippling thoughts of suicide or passive thoughts of how the world might be better without them, there are things we wish you would understand.

1. Humor is a coping mechanism.

I'm hilarious. It's a way for me to disconnect from the severity of the thoughts I have, a breath of crisp summertime air. I'm not trying to be offensive or cutting edge when wanting to die gets incorporated into my black humor. It's been a part of who I am and my thought processes for so long that it's bled into other facets of me.

2. Love will not fix me.

We all know the trope. Someone will come into your life and fix you. Their romantic advances and their gentle love will make you whole again. Your love will not fix me. It isn't something that can be fixed with kisses or caresses. Love is not the cure.

3. I am not passionate about what I once loved, though I try.

Something as seemingly insignificant as a good meal or a particularly pretty day could excite my zest for life. Now, things I once loved don't motivate me to get out of bed. I'm doing my best to stay determined and focused, but how can you focus when everything you love becomes a piercing reminder of how hollow you've become?

4. I know the world is beautiful.

I know there is so much beauty and appeal on this ever-changing planet. There are rose blue setting skies framed by magnificent horizons of mountains. The moonlight hits flowers in a delicate way that moves you to stillness. There are kind, loving people you love sitting on soft grasses and filtering the summer sunlight on a July day. For a moment, sometimes, it even makes you forget that you want to die. Just because I have one good day doesn't mean I'm fixed.

5. I'm not trying to be selfish.

My mother loves me more than life itself, and I know it to be true. I know that I have family and friends who would miss me if I left a gaping hole in their lives, created by the implosion of my own. I would stop these intrusive thoughts if I could, because I know they break my mother's heart. I would never try to hurt those I love.

6. I'm not doing this for attention.

I want you to acknowledge me for worthy performance. I would rather be recognized for stellar grades, a hardworking attitude, or a beautiful accomplishment than for suicidal ideation. Most people having suicidal thoughts don't even directly bring attention upon themselves; we hate ourselves in silence because people automatically jump to tell us that we're seeking attention.

7. Telling me to 'think positively' or that 'happiness is a choice' is like spitting in my face.

"Choose happiness." "Smile more." "I chose to be happy." Shop at any Forever21 and you'll find these slogans. People will tell you it often, like a mantra. If it was as simple as choosing happiness, no one would want to die. It's insensitive and inflammatory.

8. Suicide isn't beautiful, and dying isn't an art.

Log onto any social media platform and you'll see artful GIFs and images with captions about dying young or the beauty of laying down your life. Suicide isn't beautiful. Sadness isn't trendy. It keeps you from recognizing yourself in the mirror.

9. It isn't your fault.

I see your attempts to reach out to me, and I appreciate every single one of them. I am so immensely grateful. I see good morning texts and granola bars left at my place at the kitchen table. I see the way you check in on me, and I know you are doing all you can. This is not your fault. Please don't agonize that you can't fix this.

10. I'm not trying to push you away.

I'm awful at texting back. I avoid places on campus where I know my friends chill out. I can't handle letting them see me when I'm not at my best. I am unreliable. I do not want you to waste your time on me. I'm not intentionally trying to isolate myself. Please don't think I hate you. It's the opposite; I love you so incredibly much, but I am also so incredibly self destructive.

11. It isn't always about dying.

I'd be content to disappear. It isn't about dying as much as it is ceasing to be in this body. I'd be content to be someone else. I'd be content to just cease to exist, tossed up into some great unknown. I'd be content to be a beautiful sunflower or river water running over smooth stones. It's about escaping an inescapable situation or pain attached to our lives and our person that we cannot outrun. Suicidal ideation doesn't automatically mean I'm going to commit suicide.

12. I can get better. I am trying to get better.

I am trying to better myself with every passing day. Whenever I answer your phone calls, keep my plans with you, or seek advice, that is me trying to get better. Some people might seek professional help. Support them. Some people my choose to seek to heal themselves. Support them. There's no correct way to recover. Some coping mechanisms that help one person hinder another. Healing doesn't happen overnight.

13. It doesn't always get better.

We just get stronger. We learn healthier coping mechanisms. We learn the importance of our influence on others. We finally comprehend and believe that people love and support us despite our flaws. The pain lessens, and we grow. Life doesn't always get easier or better. We get better.