Being the daughter of Chinese immigrants, I have noticed that my mom raised me differently than how my American friends were raised. Of course each parent has his or her own beliefs but Chinese immigrants generally discipline and care for their children in a similar manner. If you are first-generation Chinese American, then you may also notice the similarities in our upbringings.
1. Being ridiculed for bringing authentic Chinese food to school
Sadly, non-Chinese elementary students do not understand how delicious real Chinese food can be. The aroma and visual appearances may not always be appealing to non-Asians, but do not knock it until you have tried it. Chinese cooking utilizes a variety of spices and herbs that flavor and color the dish so well. Non-Chinese people might be surprised by how flavorful and mouth-watering the food is.
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2. Begging your parents to let you bring Lunchables for lunch instead
If you were popular, your mom packed you Lunchables for lunch. You begged your mom for Lunchables after you could not tolerate the teasing you faced at school. Looking back, I wonder why Lunchables were so popular. Basically an assortment of highly processed foods, Lunchables do not look very appetizing.
3. Having your parents push you to study constantly.
When your friends from school asked you to hang out with them, your mom never allowed it. Why? You needed to do Kumon math and reading packets, or other educational activities. Your mom valued education over everything, which now, looking back, you should appreciate.
4. You went to Chinese school
Every Saturday or Sunday, your mom pushed you to go to Chinese school, as if regular school was not enough. To make matters worse, the teachers at Chinese school assigned hours of homework. Your mom told you that you needed to learn your native language and also be able to communicate with your non-Chinese speaking relatives.
5. Not being with your extended family for American Holidays.
Since most of your family lives in China, you never got to experience the true meaning of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other American Holidays. You mostly spent these holidays with other Chinese families who also did not have extended family in the United States. Regardless, you still enjoyed these holidays, especially because there was so much Chinese food at these Chinese gatherings and you could celebrate with your other Chinese friends.
6. You only took Chinese medicine to cure your illnesses.
Your mom only believed in the benefits of Chinese medicine. She thought that American medicine was not as effective in curing the common cold, fever, stomachache or headache. To this day, you still use the same medicine because it worked for you. Why change what works, right?
7. You were constantly criticized for your flaws and never praised for your accomplishments.
Chinese parents think that you can always do better in all aspects of life such as sports, music and academics. In order to get better, you needed to improve your weaknesses. Praise would only demotivate you because then you would have thought that you no longer needed to work hard.
8. You used Tiger Balm for everything.
Sore muscles? Use Tiger Balm. Have a headache? Use Tiger Balm! Any pain? Use Tiger Balm! Basically, if there is something wrong with your body, Tiger Balm was always the solution, even if it actually did not alleviate symptoms. At least the minty scent and cooling sensation feels nice on the skin.
9. You were forced to play piano, a string instrument or flute at some point.
Playing a musical instrument taught you discipline more than anything else. You learned that only practice could improve your musical skill. You applied the “practice makes perfect” mentality to your academics and thus studied very diligently.
10. You ate fish and meat with bones and became a pro at spitting out the bones.
In American cuisine, most of the fish served is in the filet form with no bones. Similarly, the meat does not have bones, unless you are eating wings and drumsticks. However, in Chinese cuisine, the bone is rarely, if ever, removed from the meat and fish. Removing the bones takes away some of the flavor in the meat.
11. You take your shoes off at home.
Once you got home, you took off your shoes and always switched into slippers. Your parents wanted to keep the house clean from all dirt outside.
12. You use plastic grocery bags as garbage bags.
Instead of throwing out grocery bags, you put them to use! You never used those garbage bags that are actually meant for trash. Why spend money on trash bags when you are given free plastic bags from the grocery store?
13. You hand-washed all your dishes instead of using the dishwasher.
You never used the dishwasher to wash dirty dishes even though the name implies its function. You washed all the dirty dishes, cups, pots and pans with a sponge and dishwashing soap and then placed them all in the dishwasher to dry. Basically, the dishwasher was known as a drying rack.
All of these quirky situations you went through and habits you learned from your parents make your Chinese-American upbringing special. You most likely will raise your child in a similar manner since you turned out great and want to keep the tradition alive!
