Awhile back, I stumbled upon a Buzzfeed video entitled “Things To Say To Young Girls That Aren’t ‘You Look Pretty Today!’” The premise of the video was that, essentially, if a young girl’s external appearance is the only thing that gets complimented all the time, she will grow to believe that her looks are her best quality and subsequently ignore all her other positive traits that are less-tangible than her looks.

Since we’re trying to teach girls that there’s MUCH more to them than what’s on the outside, it’s not exactly a good thing that we’re conditioning them to believe that they’re “just a pretty face,” even though we (as adults) aren’t doing it on purpose.

Therefore, instead of telling a girl how pretty her hair looks, show interest in what she’s doing, be careful of how you talk about other women and yourself in front of little girls, and, of course, compliment her less-tangible qualities. Here’s how.

Compliment her on...

1. Her Athleticism

So she’s into sports? That’s awesome, and be sure to let her know that! Just be sure to avoid saying “...like a girl” or anything related to that irrelevant AF phrase.

2. Her Intelligence

This is especially important for girls who haven’t started school yet. For example, if you know a two-year-old who already is able to count past 20 and knows what sound each letter makes, cheer her on so when she does get to preschool, the other kids will eat her dust!

3. Her Sense Of Humor

Funny girls make the world go ‘round, and let her know that that’s the way it is! Who knows, with all that encouragement she could grow up to be the next Tina Fey...

4. Her Interests

If she shows an interest in an unusual hobby or activity, or literally anything at all, let her know how cool that is!

5. Her Ambition

Sure, she may want to be a Fairy Princess Neurosurgeon one day and a teacher the next, but it’s so awesome that she’s able to identify her goals in life! (BONUS: if she does come up with some made-up occupation like Fairy Princess Neurosurgeon, you can totally let her know that that’s not actually a real job…but follow up with telling her she’d get to be the first one ever)

6. Her Creativity

We all complain about how un-creative kids these days are, so if she’s NOT like that, let her know!

7. Her Confidence

Since well-behaved women seldom make history, if she’s being bold enough to try new things and take (safe) risks, let her know how great that is by saying “Wow! You’re so brave for doing (thing-she-just-did)!”.

8. Her Heart

I don’t think I have to tell you how hard it can be sometimes for kids to be nice to other kids, especially if they’re in a sour mood. But, if you see a girl doing something nice for someone else or are aware that she naturally has a kind and giving heart, let her know how great that is! After all, I think we'd all take a nice person over a pretty person any day.

9. An Insecurity Of Hers

How a girl lets her insecurities affect her is up to the other people in her life, so if she’s feeling down about herself one day or is getting teased at school, remind her how amazing she is.

10. Her Academic Performance

Okay, what kid doesn’t like having their good grades hung up on the fridge? If you have a stellar student on your hands, be sure to acknowledge her achievements in school so she will feel more inclined to keep up the good work!

11. Her Individuality

The greatest thing about our world is that everyone’s a little different, and that’s what makes us great! It’s important to teach kids this anyway, but especially young girls.

12. Her Passion

It doesn’t matter what she’s into! If a girl in your life is passionate about something she’s doing, that’s something to be commended. This way, she’ll learn to seek validation by doing what she loves.

13. And, Of Course, Her Looks

We should never abandon complimenting a girl’s external appearance altogether. It’s important to teach kids to maintain their external appearances as well because it will help further boost their self-esteem! Just don’t go overboard.