I'm pretty sure that at least once a day I see/hear/witness/experience something that leaves me in awe. This awe is not of wonder, but of disbelief and disappointment. Then again, maybe it is wonder, just not a good form of it. After a rather "wonder-filled" first week of classes, I decided to write and review all of my "wonder-inducing" sights and experiences. These things grind my gears, drive me mad, piss me off and make me lose all faith in society.
13. Girl cliques
Yes, let's only talk to girls who fit our list of requirements and glare and snicker at everyone else, but then gossip within our clique. Ah, high school really never ends for some. Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized/judged/annoyed by a stupid girl clique. Anyone?
12. The know-it-all
Seriously, ask me anything—politics, sports, economics, foreign policy, molecular biology, fashion, philosophy. I can honestly give you an unbiased, educated and humble answer. But don’t try to challenge me, because I know I’m right and it doesn’t matter if I can or can’t support my answer. So this must be why Trump leads the polls.
11. Inaccurate book-based movies
Let’s make this timeless literary masterpiece into a movie. If we change the ending and add a little extra steamy romance it will break box office records. It’s just not good enough “as is.” Let's face it. In a hundred years, people will talk more about "The Force Awakens" than "Pride and Prejudice."
10. “Frozen”
Girl power is so totally awesome. Olaf is so cute. "Let It Go" might be the best Disney song ever! Ignore the inconsistent plot, poor decision-making characters and highlighting behaviors such as deception, isolation and selfishness. Anyone up for some "Frozen" fruit snacks?
9. Ghosting
I really don’t want to talk to her; that’s just so awkward. I’ll just ignore her texts, calls and avoid her at all costs. That way, I don’t have to deal with her anymore. Ah yes, because disappearing into thin air doesn’t cause any anxiety or stress or pain to other people. Maturity at its finest.
8. Poor sports announcer
He’s a “PTP (prime time player),” a real “diaper dandy!” Let me just remind you of this one play from a long time ago that wasn’t really that spectacular and completely ignore and disregard the game. My story is more interesting anyway. The game is greater than Dick Vitale's PTP stories.
7. Movies with ensemble casts
We each have our own storyline, but they all interconnect somehow, particularly through romance and holiday reunions. Don't forget the absolutely terrible soundtrack of top 40 love songs. Just like an NBA basketball team, only one, maybe two, stars are necessary in movies, guys.
6. The bandwagon fan
I live in Chicago, but the Yankees have 27 rings; therefore, they’re obviously the best. I only root for good teams. Let me guess. You also think A-Rod and Jeter resemble Jesus? What happens when the Yanks have a losing season? Are you a KC Royals fan? You probably also love "King James," too, huh?
5. Bad customers
I don’t understand why you don’t have this shirt in my size. The service here is terrible, I’ve been waiting in line for over eight minutes! God forbid sales associates are busy and stores are out of stock of apparel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the customer is always right. Well, sometimes, the customer is a rude idiot. Smile and keep your sanity, retail workers.
4. Attention-seeking social media posts
Selfie with an inspirational quote. Taylor Swift lyrics tweets. Tweets of photos with the caption, "This is so important." The signs you should roll your eyes, click unfollow and keep on scrolling through your newsfeed.
3. Listicles
I want to write an article but I don’t really feel like it. Maybe if I just write down a list and add some GIFs, pizza references and relate it all to "Grey’s Anatomy," the Internet will all go crazy? The irony.
2. Unrealistic yet ideal body goals
Itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face! Oh and rock hard abs, porcelain skin, thigh gaps, long flowing hair and eyebrows on fleek. So long to natural beauty, hello contour. For assistance, please seek out MAC for a free makeup tutorial although it also requires donating $100 from your bank account.
1. The bad texter
Ah yes, the infamous AIM conversation texter, the no-text-back texter, the never-answers-your-question texter, the confronts-only-over-text texter, the single-thought-in-multiple-text texter, the ignorant-of-grammar-rules texter. You all are the reason texting sucks. Answer your text! It really isn’t that hard.