Whether you are fresh out of a break up, struggling to be happy around your friends, or simply need a guide, here are a few ways to remind yourself how truly great you are. Throughout life, we tend to lose the importance of our own happiness and love for ourselves, and instead we give our love and attention to others where that love may not always be reciprocated. If that is the case, you need to remember these 13 steps, and never forget to love yourself before anyone else again.
Establish the people in your life who fulfill your days with the most joy
It may be hard to determine, but sometimes the most favorite of friends or loved ones can become one's downfall. Pay attention to those who spread happiness and warmth into your life and who carries toxic traits that may effect your choices or the way you feel towards yourself. Keep those with good energies surrounding you as often as you can.
Drop the toxic people
This. Right here. Is overall the hardest step of the whole list. This one is going to hurt through and through, but is also the most vital step to gaining love for yourself. It's going to hurt from the moment you finally realize "wow, this is a situation I shouldn't keep myself in." No one wants to realize that the person whom they love, is in fact a reason you could be unhappy. But no matter how much you love them, or they love you, you WILL reach a point that YOU need to worry about YOU. And know that whatever mental or physical pain stems from that persons toxicity, is indeed heal able. You will heal as you learn to love yourself more and more, especially because allowing yourself to get away from a bad situation, instills a beautiful self confidence like no other.
Pamper, pamper, pamper
You're probably sad, so you've been in bed, avoiding showering, eating, or even moving... Or maybe that is not you, but either way; Take a steamy bubble bath, buy yourself a bath bomb, shave those legs, and wash those silky locks. Toss on some lotion, wrap yourself in a robe (don't have one? wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket!) and paint those tootsies. Maybe even paint your nails. Do your skin care routine, better yet... do a face mask! Hell, do your makeup and hair and toss on a cute outfit. Just feel like your best self, and know you are beautiful.
Change it up
Cut your hair, dye your hair, change your outfit "look". Just go do something different, doing something new and fun after not feeling so much like yourself allows for the freedom to experiment and maybe fall in love with the way you look even more (And if you don't like it just change it again). Or if changing your hair or look isn't something you would enjoy... get a tattoo, or get a henna tattoo. Get your nose pierced, or buy a fake piercing and pretend you have one. Just change something up, whether it's drastic like your hair color, or something as simple as moving your room around, change is good. Change is always good.
Remember to look in the mirror
This tip or step is so minor and simple, yet so incredibly beneficial to loving yourself. I do not care what you look like, or how much you do not love what you see. You are goddamn beautiful ( or handsome) whether you see it or not. And if you want to reach a point where you can love yourself fully, you're going to have to look in the mirror, at any chance you can, and simply remind yourself that you ARE beautiful, or perfect, or strong enough. Honestly, any positive aphorism you need to hear, stand there, look yourself in the eyes, and tell YOU what YOU need to hear. You don't have to believe it, but if you can remember to do this once in a while... believing what your'e telling yourself will slowly become very easy, because truth is, everyone is perfect and extraordinary in their own way, we just need to remind ourselves sometimes.
Surround yourself with new people, or simply old friends whom you've lost connections with
Often times, you may be distancing yourself from the world because of a person, and sometimes this is okay... but as you distance yourself, there will be empty spaces in your heart that yearn for the people who once made you so happy. And as time goes on, more and more connections may be lost. This will eventually take a toll on your happiness and love for yourself, along with your mental health. So to your best ability, reach out to those who you lost contact with. Or if that is not the case, and the people who you surround yourself with overall do not make you happy, go find people who do. No one should ever feel pushed around, or lesser than their friends or loved ones... if that is the case, you need new people in your corner.
Search for a new hobby, or pick up an old one
Personally, I paint, it was a hobby I shared with my mother and it keeps me close to her. But life gets in the way, and I often find myself focusing my attention onto other, lesser things, that don't make me nearly as happy as sitting alone painting does. If you want to love yourself, and put your happiness first... take the time to do things YOU love, even if you have to do them alone. Staying in and doing something you love will ultimately make you happier than going to that party that you don't even actually want to go to, or sitting there while your boyfriend plays video games (Yeah, you heard me ladies, I, too, know the struggle).
Let go of anything holding you back
Anything you can think of that will simply hurt you by reminding you of the past, or even hurtful words you have been told or tell yourself. Whether it's photos, letters, jewelry, or a thought in your head.. you need to take that moment, maybe shed a tear or two for the memory, but then let it go. Remind yourself to focus on the future, not the past. And take it slow, you don't have to throw anything away, put it in a box and put the past away. It's okay to remember, but it's dangerous to dwell. Keep your focus on loving yourself and bettering yourself for your future.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes
You may have done things you're not proud of, maybe you hurt someone, or maybe you just didn't like a choice you've made. Maybe you hate yourself for it. If you do, stop! If there is one thing I have learned through out my life, it is that people are going to screw up. You are going to screw up, but you should never hate yourself for it. Take every thing you hate that you've done, remember it, hurt from it, and then learn from it... But please, forgive yourself and let go at the same time. The past is the past and you can not change your actions, but you can learn from them and be better for yourself.
Forgive others for their mistakes
This may be even harder than forgiving yourself for mistakes, but by forgiving others for their mistakes... allows you as a person, to grow. Letting go of hatred will open your mind and allow you to ultimately lead a happier life. I, personally, have found it is always so much easier to forgive, while of course not forgetting, but rather being weary and alert to assure that person will not hurt me again. Hating someone is a waste of energy, I promise you that.
Spoil yourself, you deserve it
You know the saying "shop till you drop", well now's your chance. My personal favorite thing to do when I am not feeling myself, is go thrifting. I am able to shop my booty off, while not breaking the bank. But if that is just not your style, go to the mall, or online shop.Or maybe, if there is something you have been wanting for awhile, splurge and buy it for yourself. The key to loving yourself is dong things for YOU, so spend that money that you have worked so hard to earn, on YOURSELF!
Set small and achievable goals
This is a very friendly tip I learned from one of my teachers (Mrs. Evans if you're reading this, thank you, I love you), anyway throughout the year, she would have us write down small goals that we could definitely achieve. By doing this, it helped to keep my focus on the task at hand, and instilled a bit of pride as I completed each goal. This is such a small thing to remember to do through out your day, but those small things you complete, are achievements. And who doesn't get happy, when they have achieved something they really wanted.
Be the main character in your own life
I saved this tip for last because when I first heard it, well I was confused too. My friend said this to me one day, and it really just stuck with me. At first, I was like, well that is very vain, because I mean, weren't we always told "the world does not revolve around you." But here is the thing. It is your life, you have to take control and make it your own. You need to be doing the things you want and love, not giving others your energy and help. Especially if they would not do it for you. Don't be vain, and don't use this as an excuse to be selfish, but rather use this to remember that YOU are in control of your OWN life. Live it exactly how you want to, not how others say you should.
