When I heard how "great" and "moving" the new Netflix series "13 Reasons Why" was, I figured I had to check it out. I'm a fan of great television, and I was even more intrigued when I found out it was about a girl suffering from a mental illness. Being diagnosed with severe depression and an anxiety disorder, mental illness awareness is a topic I am extremely passionate about. In order to not ruin the series for myself, I did not look much into the details of the show. Little did I know that the television series I thought might change how mental illness is viewed would do just that, but in such a horrible way.

It's not like Hannah didn't go through some traumatic experiences in life, because she did. And I get that the show was trying to go more of an anti-bullying route by showing what words and actions can do to a person. We see it on the news all the time when people anywhere from young children to older adults take their life because of bullying, and it is horrible. However, "13 Reasons Why" did more than just draw attention to anti-bullying campaigns and prove that mental illness is a real and serious issue. It made Hannah's suicide almost seem logical, and that she was right to blame everything bad that happened to her on everyone else. To back my opinion, I asked for feedback from other "everyday" people like myself who have overcome obstacles in their life - and lived to tell their stories.

"I think it glorified suicide. Like someone who is [contemplating] suicide may see it and be like, "Oh look how bad [the people on Hannah's tapes] feel. People in my life would feel that bad too."

suicide; noun; sui·cide \ˈsü-ə-ˌsīd\:the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally

Notice the words voluntarily and intentionally in the Merriam-Webster's definition of suicide. It does not include anything in the definition like "they made me do it" or "everyone hurt me so I had to." When a person commits suicide, they have made the decision to stop fighting. They did not kill themselves because of a mean comment a girl made or a boy hurt their feelings, they did it because they decided that the pain of life was too much to bear, and not having a life at all was better. And to everyone who has ever attempted or thought about taking their own life that believes my outlook on the topic is harsh, think about this: YOU are here because you decided the consequences of taking your life were worse than working to overcome your struggles.

Hannah didn't just take her own life either; she brought everyone who was ever involved in her life down with her. Now, I don't disagree with her idea of the tapes completely, because in a way she was giving her close friends and family a reason why she did it, and didn't leave them to question "Why?" for the rest of their lives. In my opinion, her tape for Bryce was well-deserved because he did more than just stop being her friend or not listen to her when she needed to talk. Bryce was not only her rapist, but Jessica's rapist as well. He deserved everything he had coming to him. However, Hannah took giving her family and friends closure to a whole new level of messed up. Her tapes resulted in someone else trying to commit suicide.

Not only did the characters on "13 Reasons Why" go through an emotional roller coaster, but so did I. The intensity and graphic images portrayed during the entire series was enough to send me into a total emotional breakdown. During the final episodes I had to take a break because I was starting to have thoughts like I would when I was really, really struggling. It's not uncommon for people to have thought about suicide in their life, regardless if they were serious or just having random thoughts. Sometimes, during the worst points of my life, I had to fight off those kinds of thoughts. This show brought them back. I stuck through the show for the sole purpose of writing this article, but part of me wishes I wouldn't have. Those who don't suffer from mental illness might have found the show moving, but for myself and many others, it was nothing but a trigger.

What kind of message was this show trying to send to all the other Hannah Baker's out there? There was no message of hope or that things will get better. Hannah could have gotten help or opened up to the right people, not the guy in her class who was hurting her feelings. She had so many other options and people in her life who did care about her. To any Hannah Baker's reading this - suicide is not the answer. Just because things are hard now doesn't mean life won't get better. Never give up, because life is a one-time gift. Suicide is not a decision you can come back from.