The more stress I seem to encounter during college, the more I miss elementary school. It's funny how the kindergarteners are the ones receiving nap time, when it's really the college students running on low sleep and caffeine who need it the most. Here's a list of 13 reasons why K-5th grade were the best years of my academic career.
1. The giant parachute in gym class.
This was by far the best day of gym class. In retrospect, the worst day was the ballroom dancing unit when the girls were forced to dance with the boys. Imagine that.
2. Memorizing the states and their capitals.
My teacher in elementary school took this seriously. Each student was paired with a partner to memorize details about a particular state, while all students were required to memorize all 50 states. This production concluded with a performance that was recorded by the Twin Cities news station. But thanks to Ms. King, I can still effortlessly recite the song, even after 10 years.
3. School plays.
Not only was Ms. King an expert in the realm of US Geography, but she could produce a mean holiday play in no time. I experienced the height of my acting career in third grade thanks to this amazing teacher. My dream career, however, was very short lived.
4. Valentine's Day.
By far the best holiday celebration in elementary school. Each student decorated their own Valentine's Box where the classmates would put their cards and candy. What a time to be alive. It definitely beats sitting at home watching chick flicks and eating ice cream due to your lack of gifted cards and candy.
5. Earth Day.
The second greatest holiday to celebrate during elementary school, but for a drastically different reason than Valentine's Day. And honestly, this might have been an event isolated within my district, but the entire elementary school would gather on the playground and we'd crowd surf this giant inflatable Earth. I'm not really sure what the purpose of this event was except to give the teachers a break from the little rascals.
6. Heads Up Seven Up.
I still don't understand why this game was such a hit. Looking back, I really think the only reason we played this was because the substitute teachers wanted to be liked and appreciated by the students. Besides, everybody knew the trick of peeking under your elbow to look for any hints on the person who tapped your thumb - shoe color, type of pants, etc.
7. Hand games.
Another activity I don't entirely understand anymore, but elementary school girls play these games everywhere. Bored on the bus? Hand games. Waiting in line for lunch? Hand games. "Concentrations... 64... No Repeats... Or Hesitations... I'll Start... Names of... Animals. "
8. The recorder.
The recorder kickstarted my love for music. Following the recorder, late in my elementary school years, came a slightly more advanced version, the clarinet, which allowed me to play more songs other than "Hot Cross Buns."
9. School store.
This was only open a few times per week, but it was a massive wait period when it was open. Offering snacks and school supplies, nobody could get enough of this place. Most importantly, the school store at my elementary school was the only place I've ever known to sell Smencils, the scented pencils made from recycled newspaper. Personally, I enjoyed the Cotton Candy or Root Beer scents.
10. Book fairs.
An event which singlehandedly cultivated my love for reading and seemed to steal my entire allowance all in one.
11. Track and Field Day.
I've always had mixed feelings on track and field day. On one hand, if my lack of participation in sports wasn't a sufficient indication of my lack of athletic ability, why not embarrass myself in front of all of my peers because I'm essentially useless when it comes to sports. Despite that, it was basically an entire day of recess, and I was an elementary schooler, so I really couldn't complain.
12. Rad Computer Games.
I pity those students who never experienced the utter joy and bliss that originated from Kid Pix or Math Blasters. The excessive playing of these games in elementary school explains my lack of knowledge surrounding any Microsoft extension. Although at least I can design and draw a heart on a computer program. Does this count as a special skill to list on a resume?
13. Butt scooters.
Also known as finger crushers, but absolutely no explanation is required; these were simply all kids dreamed about day in and day out.
