Netflix just released their new original mini series, "13 Reasons Why", based off the book by Jay Asher.
Hannah Baker, the story's heroine, suffers from bullying and sexual assault (among other things), which plummet her into a deep depression, resulting in her suicide. She leaves behind a "suicide note" in the form of audio tapes, with one for each of the people she blames for her suicide. Each episode focuses on a new tape, and new person, taking us farther and farther into Hannah's depression. We then have the please of watching her cut open her wrists in the bathtub and bleed to death before her parents find her.
Sounds cheery, right?
I just finished the thirteenth episode, and I am pissed. You want thirteen reasons why? Here you go.
1. Suicide is not beautiful.
I've always hated the expression "tragically beautiful". There is no such thing as a beautiful tragedy. Tragedy is terrible and messy and there's nothing beautiful about it. This show tries to make suicide something beautiful, or mysterious, or, worst of all, a game; but it's not.
Newsflash: suicide is not beautiful. Suicide is a life cut short. Suicide is missing out on everything. Suicide is robbing yourself of the light and the happiness and, quite literally, the world.
2. Suicide should not be normalized in our media.
A girl floating dead in a pool of her own blood and overflowing bath water is not a gorgeously gory T.V. reveal to shock audiences and boost ratings; it is unacceptable. You are showing viewers how to kill themselves. You are numbing them to the sight. You are telling them this happens and this is okay and you too can make it all end. Look, look how easy and quick it is. Not to mention the show's horrifying ability to take something as delicate as mental illness and commodify it and call it entertainment.
3. People make mistakes.
There was a lot that could have been done in the story to get Hannah Baker the help she so desperately needed, but people aren't perfect. Some were far worse and much more to blame. Others made stupid mistakes or didn't say something when they should have, but people make mistakes. We are imperfect. We don't always do or say the right thing, even when we are trying. For teens and young adults navigating this most difficult time in life, telling them their friends, parents, and school faculty need to be perfect and do and say the right thing at all times is not only dangerous, but a death sentence. We need to teach forgiveness and understanding. We need to teach people there are resources to help when they are struggling with mental illness, bullying, or assault, and we need to teach them the tools they can use to help themselves.
Spoiler alert: a razor blade and tape recorder are not the tools to which I am referring.
4. Guilt is a killer.
When someone commits suicide, every person who has ever spoken with, associated with, or even heard of this person will feel the guilt of what they could have done to save them. They don't need a tape telling them it is their fault.
Overcome by his guilt, Alex kills himself. Then what about all the people who didn't stop him? The cycle goes on and on, and blaming one another after doing something as permanent as killing yourself is not the answer.
5. Who does this help?
No one. This helps no one. It doesn't help someone contemplating suicide, and it certainly does not help those who are grieving after being left behind, so who?
6. There are rarely clear-cut reasons.
Suicide is an act committed by someone who has lost all hope. This person is not thinking clearly. He or she can see no future and no way out of the crushing pain other than to sink into a black darkness deeper and more permanent than the one they find hiding from under their covers. There is often not a reason why, and certainly not 13 specific reasons. To push this idea that there is a succinct list of reasons why someone does this is unfair to everyone involved. It is unfair to those who feel they don't have a "good enough reason" to feel depressed, and it is unfair to those who have lost loved ones and are still searching for answers to unanswerable questions.
7. This is not an option.
By showing the progression of how Hannah went from a normal, happy girl to one committing suicide is dangerous and can drag people down a very dark path. Not only does the show try to casually and rationally explain this journey, but it spark ideas in people who may be going through similar situations or feeling similarly to how Hannah felt.
8. If you are struggling, call.
After the last episode of the show, there is an episode titled,"Beyond the Reasons." In the very beginning, they say "Need help now? www.13reasonswhy.info." That's nice of them to finally put that at the end of the show (hopefully you made it there) in an after-show episode that many people don't actually watch. It's also nice of them to include the show's name in the website to promote their show and to continue to capitalize off of people's pain.
If you are struggling, call the national suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255 (available 24/7).
9. Asking for help won't help.
Hannah calls out for help so many times. She writes a poem, writes a friend a letter, and even sees a school guidance counselor. No one helps, and worse, some mock her pain. If someone who is struggling sees this, they may think if they try to reach out for help they will simply be laughed at or brushed off, as Hannah was. This is not true. If you are struggling, reach out to those around you. If they brush you off, try again. You are not alone. Get help. There is always someone out there to turn to. You are important and you are loved.
10. People will get over it.
This show shows people healing after Hannah's death. This may be just the amount of justification someone out there needs to end his or he life: that people will eventually move on, get over it, forget about you. They won't. Ever. Trust me.
11. Suicide makes you weak.
One of the characters claims that suicide is for the weak, and that it's the easy way out. Multiple characters say Hannah wanted attention. Both of these are dangerous misconceptions about suicide and mental health that the show perpetuates. I understand their point was to dissuade this kind of thinking, but there is very little talk negating these statements, besides from Clay, who was in love with Hannah and would defend her no matter what.
12. The world may actually be a better place.
The only good message of the show is the idea that we need to do better. We do, I'll give them that, but this change will not come around from your death. You will not kill yourself and spark a realization through the world that we all need to be kinder, more compassionate, more attentive to one another. Spread that message with your life; not your death.
13. Relapsing depression.
I regret every second I spent watching this God-awful show, but the second I heard about it, I knew I had to write this, and if I wanted to write about it, I had to watch it. Now I wish I hadn't. That show has the ability to tear open wounds that people fight so hard to heal. Depression, even with the right help, is an ongoing and constant battle. It is not something that is simply cured, like an ear infection. It is a chronic illness that requires constant care. Watching someone spiral downwards into a depression so deep they only find their escape in death is not something anyone, especially those suffering with depression, needs to watch.
So, there you have it: thirteen reasons not to watch this stupid show.
The only good this show does, in my opinion, is to bring attention to the impact our actions can have on others, and the serious dangers of bullying. That is it, though, and I believe attention could be drawn to this very important issue in much more positive ways. Additionally, the show should have consulted with professionals in the mental health field, rather than trying to write a story dealing with such complex topics without any professional knowledge.
Now, I'm going to go watch something that makes me happy... I'm thinking Beauty and the Beast or maybe the entire Harry Potter series- and I suggest you do too.
Sending you all my love today and always.
