When I was a senior in high school, my parents told me that if I was “a good girl and kept my grades up” that they would sell my “scoot-around car” (as my dad likes to call it) and buy me any car that I wanted that was within a reasonable price range. I thought, okay, sweet. Being the optimistic person I am, I proposed the $50,000 Land Rover. Needless to say, my parents were not amused. So I thought, okay, what’s the second coolest car? It didn’t take me long before I knew the other – and only other – car that I wanted: a Mini Cooper. Because they’re awesomely-priced at around $20-grand, my parents agreed, and it was a done deal. My Mini Coop and I have traveled many miles together (pun intended) and over the course of theses miles, I’ve noticed some labeling going on about the cool little cars. The Super Bowl 50 even had a commercial addressing these preposterous labels. I know from firsthand experience that these are rad cars and that the people who are labeling them – just like the people who think it’s ok to ride around on a hoverboard – need to be stopped. Here are some reasons why someone would avoid buying a Mini Cooper and my rebuttal to them about how absolutely splendid these cars actually are.

1. "It's too small to hold all my shopping bags."

This is a lie solely constructed by SUV companies. Unless your shopping adventure includes buying a pet elephant, you're good.

2. "My six-foot tall dad can't fit in the backseat."

Oh, but he can. (Just maybe try to limit the car ride to no more than five hours without letting him stop for a leg stretch.)

3. "It's slow."

Not gonna lie, I don't know anything about horsepower, but let me just say that I’ve had several guys in souped-up cars challenge me to a race and ended up getting shown-up.

4. "I'm really risky when it comes to parking."

Well then it looks like you two will get along great.

5. "They're either for girls, or gay guys."

If evoking masculinity is important to you, you can still get a Mini Cooper, because chicks dig 'em. And on a side note, if a girl is judging/dating you based on what kind of car you have, she is a gold digger. Avoid.

6. "My baby's stroller won't be able to fit in the trunk."

Challenge accepted.

7. "I can't go hunting and haul my dead deer in the back."

These barbarous fellas already test-tried this one for you.

8. "I can't carpool my friends in it."

Pile 'em on in.

9. " I have to have my name on the roof of my vehicle."

No problemo. The possibilities for customization on Mini Coopers is ridiculous.

10. "They're not safe."

Regardless of its small size, the Mini Cooper consistently earns a four-star crash test rating and I can also attest to this by personal experience. One time, I backed right into an oak tree (big, fully-grown) and the Mini didn't even flinch - not a dent, not a crack, nothing. Take that, oak trees.

11. "Um, like, I would never be seen dead driving something that isn't a car owned by BMW."

Fret not, oh high and mighty one. BMW actually owns the Mini brand.

12. "I need to be able to have disco parties in my car."

They already supply the color-alternating lights, you just need to bring your car dance moves.

13. "I don't like it when people wave or smile at me when I'm driving on the road."

Well if you are this person, this person is actually you, maybe you shouldn't get this car. Because when you buy a Mini Cooper, you don't just get a new car, you also get an entire community of people who are just as enthusiastic about their car as you. It’s not strange to have someone wave to you or give you a thumbs-up as they pass by. Having a mature, street legal go-cart isn’t only the most fun thing in the world, but it is also an all-access pass to the most friendly, most spunky family you’ll ever find on the road.