Shoes. I wear them, you wear them, we all wear them. Most people have more or less the same kinds of shoes in their closets. We all have that one pair of sneakers we use for working out or running, casual ones, dressy ones, what have you. I'm all for crazy, creative fashion-forwardness, but sometimes people just take things too far. After a little investigation, I've found some shoes that maybe shouldn't exist. What do you think, would you wear these?
1. Ewww...
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Are those supposed to be maggots? I think they're plastic, but still...ew.
2. Dinner and a shoe, anyone?
To the person who came up with this idea, props for creativity, but wouldn't the fork tines stab your feet?
3. Forget high heels, wear these high...I don't even know
I'm trying to imagine walking in these and my calves are sore just looking at them.
4. These weird stiletto/flipper hybrids
Because regular stiletto heels weren't hard enough to walk in already. What kind of occasion would you wear these to, I wonder. A black tie formal event underwater? Is Kate Winslett going to wear these to the Titanic reunion?
5. These half high heels
"I want all the discomfort of walking in high heels without any of the benefits of wearing actual shoes." -No one ever
6. These bizarre shoe pants?
How long did it take to lace these up? And another question, what on earth do you do if you have to pee?
7. These shoes with a lot of...calcium
Are those...teeth? Yes, they are. They are in fact teeth. Where did the person who made these even get all those? Are we looking at the shoes of a serial killer?
8. These penny LOAFers
Loafers, get it? I'm torn between, "Those look delicious," and, "As soon as you add feet to this equation, this is super gross."
9. These heels that look like a medieval torture device
I'm wincing just looking at this girl's feet. I think those might be actual nails she's balancing her weight on. Why? Why would you do this?
10. These Pikachu shoes perfect for extended sessions of Pokemon Go!
Except not really, because you probably couldn't walk in these while staring at your phone without twisting an ankle.
11. These shoes that couldn't decide what they wanted to be when they grew up
Someone decided that jeans, Ugg boots, and flip flops all needed to be the same thing.
12. These shoes that look cartoonishly delicious
What do you think would be the appropriate occasion to wear these shoes? I'm really trying hard to think of one and I'm drawing a blank.
13. These weird heels that are kind of making me wonder if I should call PETA...
I mean, sure this is tacky, but I'm more concerned about those poor goldfish who are imprisoned in your shoe and are probably getting bounced all around every time you walk down the street. And how do you feed them?
Pause for a moment and consider that someone actually thought of and took the time to create all of these. I think maybe we should all just let Lady Gaga hold down the weird shoe fort and stick to our sneakers and boots.
