Naming children is incredibly tricky. Or so I imagine as I am childless. But due to the numerous baby names books and the amount of little cousins I have or have on the way, there are some definite do's and don't's. So let's explore some of the worst options for middle names.
1. Eloise
This name reminds me of the girl in Harry Potter. She was in the same year as the main trio and Hermione says a passing remark about her trying to clear up her own acne using magic and it goes terribly awry. For some reason it sounds more like an onomatopoeia word than a name.
2. Donald (or Hillary)
It is sad that this name will have this association probably for next five to ten years. It no longer reminds me of Donald Duck from my Disney-filled childhood. Same goes for Hillary.
3. Bert
Even though he's an adorable puppet on Sesame Street, Bert just sounds like an old man who doesn’t want to roll out of bed. Plus, whenever he asks a question the reply will always be "Sherbert".
4. Bertha
I had a friend in high school who actually had this as her first name and absolutely hated and went by her middle name Victoria. But this didn't stop it from cropping up every time we had a substitute teacher.
5. Dolores
All I can imagine is Umbridge from Harry Potter. Bright pink and kittens. Gag me.
6. Edward
Sparkly fairy vampires. Seriously, he looks like there he's always smelling something seriously foul. It's a sad association. Why can't we associate it with Jane Austen characters and such when the name was popular?
7. Gertrude
I don't entirely know why I dislike this name. I guess it sounds like an old crazy cat lady who names her felines after shades of grey, black, white and orange.
8. Gunther
I'd honestly never heard this name until I watched FRIENDS and I pitied poor Gunther. I mean he wasn't much of a looker in comparison to the rest of the male cast but he was sweet. That hair though...
9. Star
As cool as it sounds to name your kids after constellations, like pureblood families in Harry Potter for example, having a child name Scorpius or Sagittarius or Hydra? Sounds a bit too mystic for the poor child.
10. Guy
This is honestly one of the weirdest names I've ever come across. Like in some ways it's inherently sexist. Like we don't refer to our Cocker Spaniel pooch as Lady...oh wait.
11. Jay
I honestly think this a bit lazy for a middle name. Like Kay or Bee or Elle. It's phonetic spelling of a letter's sound. Can we be a bit more creative than that?
12. Princess
Yes, this one surprised me the first time I heard it. Like it's a cute nickname or pet name or whatever. But an actual certified name? That's just asking for your child to be spoiled and/or picked on. Why put them through that?
13. Richard
This one actually makes me sad because it used to be such a nice name and could be shortened to Rick or Rich. But no, we have to shorten to something that has to bolster or tear down masculinity. So sad.
