Whenever I hear the phrase “little white lie”, I can’t help but hear the words being said in my mom’s voice – a voice that was probably scolding me as a child for telling her that I did eat all my vegetables or that I do want to watch educational television.
I didn’t, and I don’t.
Whatever, mom.
There’s something oddly comforting about little white lies. Something that makes you seem mighty, powerful, and (for once in your life) in control of something – anything, really.
So it’s easy to see why college students love them so much.
Okay, don’t get me wrong. I don’t condone lying.
But, let’s be honest, that whole “we’re all in this together” thing isn’t just for high schoolers anymore.
Because here we still are, in college, tripping over our own two feet, sleeping through our 12pm alarms, and, well, pretty much just all being in this together (AKA: telling ourselves every big lie, stupid lie, and little white lie in the book).
1. “I’ll be fine taking an 8am class.”
Reality: You’re really not even fine taking an 11am class.
2. “I don’t need to study for this exam.”
Common lie that tends to be generally true until you have the exam in front of you and you say to yourself, “Shit, I really should have studied.”
3. “I can probably write that 8 page paper the night before it’s due.”
Just like Gordan Ramsay can probably say something that’s not insulting on one of his TV shows. Hint: He can’t.
4. “Sleep is for the weak.”
It’s not. But you probably won’t go to sleep on time anyway.
5. “I’m only going to eat one piece of pizza.”
Common lie found in every college cafeteria, and pretty much every other time in life, too.
6. “I’m not going to procrastinate this time.”
Just like every other time you lied to yourself and said you weren’t going to procrastinate.
7. “I’m going to go to the gym more often this semester.”
Coupled with the common yet just as fictitious, “I’m finally going to get in shape.” Good luck doing that alongside staying mentally stable, maintaining your social life, and finishing those 28 papers that are due by 11:59pm.
8. “I’m going to start eating healthier.”
Your school cafeteria begs to differ. Your budget probably does too.
9. “I’m not drunk.”
Yeah, your dance moves would certainly suggest not.
10. “I’m never drinking again.”
Haha.
11. “Vodka tastes good.”
It doesn’t.
12. “I’m going to go to the library to study.”
Mentally prepare self to go to library. Gather items. Reassess lie 4 hours later when you’re still sitting on the floor of your room looking at memes.
13. “I’m not tired.”
Me either.
It’s time to face the truth, guys.
We’re weak.
(Notice how I refrained from lying there. I am not strong. You are not strong. We are college students. We are not strong.)
But it’s alright.
We can be weak together.
In the meantime, don’t get lost on your way to library, make sure you stretch before you go to the gym, and I’m sure you will finish your 8 page paper that’s due at 11:59pm that you waited to start until now!
