After getting lost around campus, our guest speaker finally arrived at my Criminology class just a little past 8 p.m. He was 5 foot 6 inches, average built and wore gray dress pants with a button-down long-sleeved shirt. He had a firm handshake and a smile. After a short introduction by my professor, the speaker began. It was a speech that will stay with me long after my college career is over and probably even for the rest of my life. I guarantee you will never guess who this speaker was, just try? No, the speaker was not a world famous lawyer or judge that has participated in thousands of cases. No, the speaker was not the President of the United States or the Pope and no, the speaker was not Zac Efron. The speaker was, in fact, an alleged murderer. He had been sentenced to death row for the conviction of first-degree murder and two counts of attempted first-degree murder. He spent 20 years locked up in a state prison in Starke, Florida looking his death right in the eye every single day as he sat just 13 feet away from the electric chair.

Before reflecting on his talk I think it is important to understand how rare it is to be walking free after being sentenced to death row. Since 1976 there have been approximately 1,418 executions in the United States (according to the Death Penalty Information Center) and as of April 2015, another 3,002 inmates are sitting on death row (according to the Death Penalty Information Center). These statistics come from 34 states in addition to the accused held by the U.S. Government and Military. Of these death row cases, only 156 people since 1976 have been exonerated, when mathematically calculated that is a mere 11%. It is more likely that you will meet one of the 535 voting members of Congress, it is more likely to have 6 times as many Facebook friends with the national average ranging from 340-649 based on your age group, and it is more likely for you to come across one of the 160 wild Florida Panthers (an endangered species) than it is for you to meet someone that was on death row. What all these numbers basically mean is that meeting somebody like the speaker is not an everyday occurrence or even an every lifetime occurrence.

When I first heard that the guest speaker was a death row inmate and we were going to be given the opportunity to hear him say his story and ask him questions my mind started running all over the place. For a couple days there the “Question Queen” (I am the Question Queen) had run out of questions and actually it was more like my brain had a surplus of questions. I wanted to know the logistics of the case, I wanted to hear about his childhood, and I wanted to know what life was like in prison and after his release.

To save you all from a boring (actually fascinating) legal lecture I am going to briefly summarize the case and if you want to read more you can look it up here. The speaker had a regular trial and then an appeals trial. When I am explaining the regular trial I wall call him the defendant and then while reviewing the appeals try I will call him the appellant. Unfortunately, for the defendant, his initial trial was greatly impacted by the corruption of the court. The judge was indicted on charges of RICO violations, conspiracy to commit extortion, attempted extortion, mail fraud, and money laundering during the sentencing process. Consequently, a new judge was appointed for the sentencing phase without hearing the same evidence as the Jury. In addition to a corrupt judge, he also fell victim of a corrupt lawyer. He was a court-appointed Public Defender that asked the defendant and his family for money. He was also very good friends with the judge and indicted in two trials. One was the same trial as the judge and the second was in a trial against the Florida Bar for presenting a fictitious argument during his opening of the defendant's case. This left the defendant without a lawyer and a consistent judge. Due to the blatant problems in the first case he appealed his case to the Florida Supreme Court. After a long process, the Supreme Court reversed the conviction and sentencing including that of the death penalty and gave the appellant a new trial. They made this decision based on the argument, that even though individually the forms of corruption would not have had much effect on the trial the compilation of all the corruption did. During the second trial, the speaker took a plea deal that imprisoned him for 18 months.

Answers to some of my questions and other people's questions: (disclaimer: most is not direct quotes but a paraphrase- things directly quoted are in quotation marks)

Childhood Questions or Life Before Crime:

Question: How did you get involved in crime?

Answer: I was one of nine children raised by a single mother and wanted to help my mother out after I grew up. The only way I saw possible to do this was dealing drugs and after that, I loved the lifestyle of “pretty women and pretty cars.” But my past is not an excuse, I made my own choices and it cost me.

Life on Death Row:

Q: A general discussion on the lawyers….

A: I felt betrayed because my lawyers befriended me, were nice, and gained my trust. I believed they would defend me but then I realized they were dealmakers and wanted to settle without a trial.

My thoughts: This is such a unique perspective to the plea deal, for lawyers, it is the best way to settle a case and often times it, in fact, is the best way to settle a case. However, to the accused, it is almost as if the person that they are paying to protect them is not doing their job and has given up hope.

Q: What did you do to pass the time on death row- how did he cope with the loneliness?

A: I split up my time. I would smoke weed, did a lot of crying, and prayed. I spent about an hour a day reading the bible, an hour working out, and another hour cleaning.

My thoughts: I didn't know you could get Marijuana in prison and how he managed to stay sane is incredible.

Q: Can you describe what it was like to be on death row?

A: It smelled like a hospital and death. I learned quickly that being nosey in jail was a very bad thing. Also, I adjusted my body to fasting because the prison would put sleeping pills and chemicals in our food to control us so I just stopped eating, I only ate saltine crackers.

My thoughts: How did he not starve and it is sad that the system caused him to do such harm to his body.

Q: How were the guards?

A: Once you make it appear like you don’t care what they do, they leave you alone. Amongst themselves, they do not like those guards that treated us with respect.

Q: How was your religion tested on death row?

A: It was absolutely strengthened, while in prison this teacher from Pittsburgh I almost fought with the first day taught me how to read and I loved it. So I read the bible and prayed a lot and cried. I prayed for those who accused me “Without God I would not be here” he also said that a phrase that kept him going was “they have spoken but God has the final say” Also, in death row, suicide is something that happens a lot when appeals are denied or a relative dies on the outside. I am not going to lie it is something I thought about but I had faith and things got better.

My thoughts: This is inspiring. Someone who had it all against them learned to rely so heavily on their faith and God. It was incredible to see his face light up, in contrast to sadness that could be perceived throughout the rest of the speech, when he was talking about God.

Q: How did reading help you?

A: It helped pass the time and helped towards my defense. I read law books and would send cases to my lawyers.

Q: What role did your wife and children play?

A: They were my strength. My wife never left me and she brought my kids to visit me. I gave her the opportunity to leave because I was ruining my life but she didn’t. My daughter is now a corrections officer and my son a business attorney. “I must have done at least one thing right”

My thoughts: His wife is one very strong women, who has a lot of faith in her husband's innocence. Family support is very important.

After Death Row:

Q: First thing you did when released?

A: Ate a real meal

Q: What has changed since when you went to prison and when you came out?

A: Not much “Same circus different clowns” the crime is still the same, people are acting in the same way as before . A lot of people are making the same bad choices I made.

My thoughts: This was really eye opening how could it be that in 20 years society has not changed and is still burdened by the same issues.

Q: How do you think we should react to crime now?

A: Everybody just needs to “learn for themselves”

Q: What should be fixed inside the system?

A: We need to “provide more lawyers for death row inmates”

Q:What advice would you give those going into the legal profession?

A: Start off strong do not come out weak. Know what you want and what you stand for [coming out of law school] because if not you will be changed, when firms vet you or take you in they shape you to want the money, “it is almost like being in a gang”

My thoughts: WOW!!! He emphasized on the fact about being true to yourself and ,in the words of Olivia Pope, wearing the white hat. I think that is so important especially when you are lawyer because you are making decisions that will impact people’s lives forever.

Random Advice:

“If you see something follow it, no matter what people say—— I followed my freedom for 20 years”

“If you have to justify yourself; you are the insecure one, not them”

“I take responsibility for my mother’s death because the stress of seeing your son on death row is powerful enough to kill you”

I think these are just some of the highlights of the speech and communication he had with the class.It also greatly changed my perception on people like my speaker. Going into this lecture I thought I was going to have no remorse for him but in fact, I had so much sympathy for him. It taught me that people make mistakes but they can also change. I think I will never forget the pensive silence that overtook the room as the speaker began to speak and choked up. It was a silence that was not awkward, it was a silence that was one of understanding, and it was a silence that I do not think everyone in that would ever forget.