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The 13 Emotionally Confusing Stages of Using a Menstrual Cup

RubyCup I love you, but why are you this way?

Shannon Aplin

Jan 31, 2017

University of West Florida

The 13 Emotionally Confusing Stages of Using a Menstrual Cup

Wikimedia Commons

I'm going to start by saying that my menstrual cup changed my actual literal life. I mean, don't get me wrong, the first month is... an experience, to say the least. But the past year and a half has absolutely changed the way I look at menstruation, both in terms of taking care of myself and the environment.

Still... things can get weird.

1. When the first month of using it feels like your first period all over again.

Honestly, what is this thing? What are periods? How old am I? What year is it?

2. Having to empty it for the first time in a public restroom.

I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

3. Sitting in the bathroom for hours because it's too far up and never, ever coming out.

Disclaimer: it comes out. You'll be fine.

4. The first time you feel it adjust its position inside of you.

W H A T.

5. The getting it out and emptying it struggle.

I don't even have the emotional capacity to explain all the things that could go wrong here.

6. The emotional turmoil that comes with looking at a cup full of your own period blood.

It's another dimension in there, friends.

7. That first time you insert it without peeing on your hands.

THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM.

8. That beautiful moment when it's so undetectable you completely forget you even have it in.

Honestly, this is the life, hold on tight.

9. Not having to take it out for TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.

So much more time for activities!

10. Saying goodbye to all your old tampons like

Won't be needing these.

11. Talking your friends into making the switch

YOUR LIFE CAN BE SO. MUCH. BETTER.

12. Once you've got your whole crew living that life.

Fight us.

13. Finally just walking around like the freaking master of menstruation that you are.

I'm the boss of everything.

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The 13 Emotionally Confusing Stages of Using a Menstrual Cup

RubyCup I love you, but why are you this way?

1. When the first month of using it feels like your first period all over again.

2. Having to empty it for the first time in a public restroom.

3. Sitting in the bathroom for hours because it's too far up and never, ever coming out.

4. The first time you feel it adjust its position inside of you.

5. The getting it out and emptying it struggle.

6. The emotional turmoil that comes with looking at a cup full of your own period blood.

7. That first time you insert it without peeing on your hands.

8. That beautiful moment when it's so undetectable you completely forget you even have it in.

9. Not having to take it out for TWELVE WHOLE HOURS.

10. Saying goodbye to all your old tampons like

11. Talking your friends into making the switch

12. Once you've got your whole crew living that life.

13. Finally just walking around like the freaking master of menstruation that you are.

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You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!