If you’ve ever worked any kind of retail, then I bet you’ve dealt with your fair share of challenging customers. Some customers just can’t take “no” for an answer while others don’t realize that tax will be added to their total. Oftentimes, retail workers have little to no say in the price of an item, the duration of a sale or where the items are located in a store, but that doesn’t stop customers from blaming them for pretty much everything.
After working about 50 hours this week, I decided to write about a few of the characters that I’ve met during my time working at a retail store. And I can assure you that these are all inspired by real people and real interactions.
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1. The “Is this on sale?” Customer
I hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t memorize the sale price of every item in the store. No one does. But I’ll put on my biggest smile and go check the price for you because you clearly couldn’t see the large yellow sale stickers under the products.
2. The Couponer
“That should have come up as 38 cents, not 40. Can you cancel the transaction and start over to make sure you did it right?” Now, not all couponers are like this, but some customers just can’t help but haggle over those last few pennies.
3. The “I’d like to speak to your manager” Customer
So they can tell you the exact same thing that I just did? Sounds good to me.
4. The Creep
Why, no, sir. I would not like to come look at the shoes you’re selling. Out of your van. At 9:00 p.m. *casually calls manager*
5. The “Do you work here?” Customer
No, I just found this outfit in the back and thought it would be fun to wear khakis around all day. Of course I work here. Why else would I be loading products onto the shelf?
6. The TMI Customer
Ma’am, I understand that you’re buying this medicine. What I do not understand is why you’re telling me about your most recent medical complications and why you need this particular medication. I really, really didn’t need to know about your last trip to the gastroenterologist.
7. The “I’ll take my business elsewhere next time” Customer
I have to be honest with you… This doesn’t bother us as much as you would like it to bother us. Yes, it’s upsetting that you were unsatisfied with the service, and we're sorry about that. However, we deal with other customers every day who will gladly return to our store.
8. The "It's the end of the world as we know it" Customer
Ah, the inevitable “technology is the downfall of America” customer. All you can do is smile, nod and find some way to escape from the conversation.
9. The “If it doesn’t have a price tag, it must be free” Customer
Classic! That's an oldie but a goodie.
10. The Butterfingers Customer
No, I didn’t just spend two hours building that display. Please go ahead and knock over and/or drop every single thing on its shelves while you shop.
11. The "Time is only an illusion" Customer
Customer: “At what time does the store close?”
Employee: “10:00”
Customer: “What time is it now?”
Employee: “10:08”
Customer: *keeps shopping*
Employee: *bangs head against wall*
And though dealing with these customers is sometimes extremely infuriating, it’s all worth it when you get to see your favorites.
12. The “I’ll go put this back where it came from” Customer
You are a beautiful and rare human being. You keep on being awesome.
13. Your Favorite Customer
The best time of any day is when my favorite customer comes into the store to buy cigarettes. We love to chat about his wife and his latest vacation, and it always seems to put a smile on both of our faces.
