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13 "Candidates" Better Than Trump

The GOP should reconsider their nominee.

Sep 09, 2015

"You're hired." Words that Donald Trump has likely never said before and should not hear after election season ends for our country. It seems the GOP is looking for nearly anyone to fill their nomination. Going into this election, I think it's good to keep an open mind. That being said, consider these names as you fill out the write-in section of your ballot next November.

1. Little Honey Boo Boo.

She may be young and unintelligent, but that's what people said about Queen Elizabeth when she took the reins in England. Let's have some faith in her.

2. Sofia Vergara.

No one really understands politics, no one really understands Sofia Vergara. Coincidence? Plus, she's a lot easier on the eyes than Mr. Trump.

3. Ted.

He may be offensive, but at least he can calm down Mark Wahlberg. Any chief executive with that power is truly rare.

4. Ellen Degeneres.

She can already rock a good looking suit. Why not?

5. OJ Simpson.

If a man can get away with murder, just imagine what he could get away with sitting in the Oval Office. Plus, everyone loves a man who can play football.

6. Jared the Subway Guy.

This man is an inspiration. He lost hundreds of pounds after years of ridicule. In light of recent accusations against him, it seems there's one thing he won't be able to lose: a guilty conscience. He would try with all his might not to mess up while in office.

7. Serena Williams.

I wouldn't want to mess with a woman who can swing a racket like she does. I seriously doubt any other country would, either.

8. Dr. Phil.

Considered one of the greatest mediators in the modern age, Dr. Phil resolves any conflict with his soothing voice. He could end foreign wars with one phone call. Let's hope Kim Jong Un is on the White House speed-dial.

9. Peyton Manning.

The epitome of a great man is a firm jawline. Peyton has Donald beat in this category.

10. Mayor West.

He has years of political experience under his belt, something that Trump does not have. Plus, his haircut is a bit more up to date than Donald's.

11. JK Rowling.

Isn't politics all smoke and mirrors? That's right up her alley with all her Harry Potter books. She wouldn't be fooled in office.

12. Tiger Woods.

He already loves the color red, the color of the Republican Party. He wouldn't have to change his wardrobe.

13. Steve Carell.

Steve has shown that he can effectively run an office of a very diverse population. Isn't that basically what America is? Let's give him a promotion.

Don't forget to vote when November 2016 rolls around; it's your right as a U.S. citizen. Thank you for considering these potential candidates as I have. Let's make America great again!

Oops -- it's kinda catchy, though.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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