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13 All-Time Favorite Jokes

Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day!

Katie Colwell

Sep 27, 2023

Oakland University

39907

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

I consider myself a master of jokes. In my time, I have accumulated many knock knock jokes, puns, and classic dad jokes. So here for you are my absolute favorite that will be sure to get people to either laugh or groan.

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

full-moon betta fish Photo by Kyaw Tun on Unsplash

This one is my go-to. It never fails to get a laugh. Pro tip: Extend the sh a bit, it really makes the joke.

2. How do billboards talk?

Selective focus photography of jolly woman using peace hand gesture Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Sign language

Lol, get it? Because billboards are signs.

3. What do you call a bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel

assorted doughnuts & baggels a Photo by Alice Pasqual on Unsplash

4. Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 then they would be called chicken sedans.

brown hen on brown wooden fence Photo by Tom Ungerer on Unsplash

This one is so bad it's good.

5. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

black and yellow lego minifig Photo by Márton Szalai on Unsplash

Walking. J.K. Rowling

This is a personal favorite and not just because I love Harry Potter. I usually cannot get to the punch line with out falling over laughing. Trust me, I have witnesses. Pro tip: You should add a pause between "walking" and "J.K. Rowling." It adds some necessary suspense.

6. Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

white and blue paper on pink surface Photo by Olga Thelavart on Unsplash

This is perfect if you are a common jokester. People will be expecting something bad and get something worse.

7. Points to graveyard people are just dying to get in there.

gray concrete cross on green grass field during daytime Photo by Waldemar on Unsplash

8. A giraffe and a man walk into a bar. The giraffe falls down and the man asks, "why you lying?" The giraffe says, "I'm not a lion, I'm a giraffe!"

brown and white giraffe Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

I assume the giraffe was pretty offended.

9. What time is it? "It's 2:30." Well, you should go to the dentist if you're tooth-hurty.

person holding brown and white round ornament Photo by Amr Taha™ on Unsplash

10. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you are American when you come out. But what are you when you're in there?

European

man in blue crew neck shirt under blue sky during daytime Photo by Henri Lajarrige Lombard on Unsplash

11. Knock knock. "Who's there?" You're up. "You're up who?" No, you're a poo.

a pair of masks on a green surface Photo by Elena Rabkina on Unsplash

You really got to unlock your inner child for this one.

12. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

6 Reasons Why Betta Fish Make The Best Pets https://pixabay.com/en/animal-nature-fish-water-wi...

It's all in the delivery.

13. What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

brown coated monkey on branch Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

BA-NA-NA-NA

This here is a classic. Pro tip: You really got to get into the BANANANA. Pretend to play the piano, really nail the NANANA. Bonus points if you do it on a table or have an actual banana.

So here you are, folks. My all time favorite and best jokes. Use them wisely.

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13 All-Time Favorite Jokes

Guaranteed to Brighten Your Day!

1. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

2. How do billboards talk?

Sign language

3. What do you call a bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel

4. Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 then they would be called chicken sedans.

5. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Walking. J.K. Rowling

6. Want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

7. *Points to graveyard* people are just dying to get in there.

8. A giraffe and a man walk into a bar. The giraffe falls down and the man asks, "why you lying?" The giraffe says, "I'm not a lion, I'm a giraffe!"

9. What time is it? "It's 2:30." Well, you should go to the dentist if you're tooth-hurty.

10. You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you are American when you come out. But what are you when you're in there?

European

11. Knock knock. "Who's there?" You're up. "You're up who?" No, you're a poo.

12. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

13. What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BA-NA-NA-NA

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

Yes, it IS a sport. Yes, I fall all the time. No, I do not ride in jeans with a cowgirl hat on.

1. The looks you get when you wear your riding attire in public

2. Horses spook at anything and everything

3. Your horse deciding to show how disobedient it can be right in front of the judges

4. The look your horse gives you after making you fall

5. Trying to take a picture of your horse....

6. Giving your horse a bath only for them to roll in dirt right after

7. Ponies

8. Walking through a tack shop is like a kid in a toy store

9. When someone tells your horseback riding is not a sport

10. Having your horse as your best friend, and having it any other way

When you're struggling to keep afloat, keep going.

Panicking and pulling all-nighters will not allow you to get an A.

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7. Points to graveyard people are just dying to get in there.

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